Control

There's so much I keep to myself even though this is here, but that doesn't seem to matter because the biggest fear is that if I write here, and truly open up, people still know it is me. If I write something about someone in particular, especially when negative, what if they read it? Why do I really care about these things, surely I should just feel free to write what I want and think f**k it to them?
Well I just can't, that's not me - I never want to directly hurt people, without a doubt I can be one of the most infuriating people because I don't open up and I always say the wrong thing, but it's never meant to hurt anyone. This pass week I've managed to upset and hurt people that mater to me, I haven't meant to but I have. I guess no matter how much I try to open up, sometimes I don't do it enough or I am like a traffic light flashing from green to red with no warning as to when I will change. I make comments to people that are meant to be caring but they come out wrong

I guess we are all new to this world in some sort of way, like each day we all start from the exact same point, at midnight the day you were in has now past and there is sweet F A that you can do about it but you would be a nutcase if you didn't think about it - that's what memories are after all. We all start a day at 00:00 whether we work night shifts or a 9-5 job, are a postman or a student - the day in itself starts the same time for everyone and in that aspect we are new to it. We make predictions of what will happen but we can never know for sure.

I guess what I'm getting at is I don't believe in this destiny bull crap. You are yourself and you are the one that makes things happen. Stop making excuses about why things went wrong. You are yourself, sure there are outside incidents but essentially you control your life. If you decide to stay in bed all day, guess what, shit still carries on outside. If you get up and hit traffic on the way to work, well you left at that time that you did so you walked into this traffic. Stop making excuses, take control of your life. Of course there are things you can't control but there is a hell of a lot that you can.

What am I even writing haha? I guess I'm trying to clear my head. Like this is all cryptic and stuff but within it I am getting clarity.

Some memories are so awesome, but they should of stayed that way, memories. Everything has a deadline and once that point hits maybe you are better of letting go. I mean, when you go on holiday it is epic and you come back wanting it to have lasted longer. Surely that is better then letting it carry on for too long and end up hating it. Right? Apart from the leaving and letting go is hard, its impossible. I guess you get stuck in a rot, like when you are in a job and have aspirations yet you stay for too long and end up making it harder and harder to leave when perhaps you should of walked away earlier.

So now is your time to take control again, make that job change, go on that holiday, ask that girl out for dinner, get that new car/ house/ game/ movie. Make time for friends, I mean they are the ones that tell you when your being dumb and they are the ones that can make you feel more emotions than anyone else except your family. Your mates are the ones that choose to be around you so stop complaining about shit. If you want to do something, just do it. As long as it is legal and nobody else will be hurt just do it! No matter what you believe in you are only here as you once. If your a christian, a jew etc you may get to go to heaven, if you are a hindu there may be reincarnation, the point is you are here, right now, as you! I mean sure if reincarnation exists awesome, but if you were a bird, or a lion, you wouldn't have the brain you have now or the moment you are in right now. Life is precious, life is what you make of it. You control you and your life, so control it and stop being a passenger.

Life is your route to plan, you are going to make wrong turns, so what? You are going to get lost and be unsure of how to get back on track, but there is always a way. Obviously don't go planning the entire journey, take time to enjoy what is going on, the people you meet on this journey are essentially now a part of your story, from that guy that served you lunch to that girl that crossed the road in front of your car and smiled. They are now in your story and you are in theirs! That is kinda awesome how in your lifetime you can be in billions of peoples life stories. Do you wanna be that miserable git in the story, the guy people pity, or do you want to be that person that had a positive impact in some way? We may be here for 20 years, we may be here for 100 years, essentially we are writing our story and impacting other peoples. Nobody really wants a tragedy, they all want that feel good one where you cry, you laugh, you look into someone elses eyes and see them feel the same, just for that second, and if you have seen it before it still never gets old because it makes you feel good. Make your story that one that people who weren't a part wish they were and those who were feel so glad they were because now maybe their story will be a feel good one too.

Take control, don't let it happen, make it happen. Don't worry nobody knows what they are doing, but those who take control sure as hell can have better things happening in their story.

Why are you still reading? At 00:00 we will all be new to the day, I'm not saying wait until that time, but if you have to wait, if your one of those who put things off (I am one) then fine but do it this time, take control... TAKE CONTROL