There's so much I keep to myself even though this is here, but that doesn't seem to matter because the biggest fear is that if I write here, and truly open up, people still know it is me. If I write something about someone in particular, especially when negative, what if they read it? Why do I really care about these things, surely I should just feel free to write what I want and think f**k it to them?
Well I just can't, that's not me - I never want to directly hurt people, without a doubt I can be one of the most infuriating people because I don't open up and I always say the wrong thing, but it's never meant to hurt anyone. This pass week I've managed to upset and hurt people that mater to me, I haven't meant to but I have. I guess no matter how much I try to open up, sometimes I don't do it enough or I am like a traffic light flashing from green to red with no warning as to when I will change. I make comments to people that are meant to be caring but they come out wrong
I guess we are all new to this world in some sort of way, like each day we all start from the exact same point, at midnight the day you were in has now past and there is sweet F A that you can do about it but you would be a nutcase if you didn't think about it - that's what memories are after all. We all start a day at 00:00 whether we work night shifts or a 9-5 job, are a postman or a student - the day in itself starts the same time for everyone and in that aspect we are new to it. We make predictions of what will happen but we can never know for sure.
I guess what I'm getting at is I don't believe in this destiny bull crap. You are yourself and you are the one that makes things happen. Stop making excuses about why things went wrong. You are yourself, sure there are outside incidents but essentially you control your life. If you decide to stay in bed all day, guess what, shit still carries on outside. If you get up and hit traffic on the way to work, well you left at that time that you did so you walked into this traffic. Stop making excuses, take control of your life. Of course there are things you can't control but there is a hell of a lot that you can.
What am I even writing haha? I guess I'm trying to clear my head. Like this is all cryptic and stuff but within it I am getting clarity.
Some memories are so awesome, but they should of stayed that way, memories. Everything has a deadline and once that point hits maybe you are better of letting go. I mean, when you go on holiday it is epic and you come back wanting it to have lasted longer. Surely that is better then letting it carry on for too long and end up hating it. Right? Apart from the leaving and letting go is hard, its impossible. I guess you get stuck in a rot, like when you are in a job and have aspirations yet you stay for too long and end up making it harder and harder to leave when perhaps you should of walked away earlier.
So now is your time to take control again, make that job change, go on that holiday, ask that girl out for dinner, get that new car/ house/ game/ movie. Make time for friends, I mean they are the ones that tell you when your being dumb and they are the ones that can make you feel more emotions than anyone else except your family. Your mates are the ones that choose to be around you so stop complaining about shit. If you want to do something, just do it. As long as it is legal and nobody else will be hurt just do it! No matter what you believe in you are only here as you once. If your a christian, a jew etc you may get to go to heaven, if you are a hindu there may be reincarnation, the point is you are here, right now, as you! I mean sure if reincarnation exists awesome, but if you were a bird, or a lion, you wouldn't have the brain you have now or the moment you are in right now. Life is precious, life is what you make of it. You control you and your life, so control it and stop being a passenger.
Life is your route to plan, you are going to make wrong turns, so what? You are going to get lost and be unsure of how to get back on track, but there is always a way. Obviously don't go planning the entire journey, take time to enjoy what is going on, the people you meet on this journey are essentially now a part of your story, from that guy that served you lunch to that girl that crossed the road in front of your car and smiled. They are now in your story and you are in theirs! That is kinda awesome how in your lifetime you can be in billions of peoples life stories. Do you wanna be that miserable git in the story, the guy people pity, or do you want to be that person that had a positive impact in some way? We may be here for 20 years, we may be here for 100 years, essentially we are writing our story and impacting other peoples. Nobody really wants a tragedy, they all want that feel good one where you cry, you laugh, you look into someone elses eyes and see them feel the same, just for that second, and if you have seen it before it still never gets old because it makes you feel good. Make your story that one that people who weren't a part wish they were and those who were feel so glad they were because now maybe their story will be a feel good one too.
Take control, don't let it happen, make it happen. Don't worry nobody knows what they are doing, but those who take control sure as hell can have better things happening in their story.
Why are you still reading? At 00:00 we will all be new to the day, I'm not saying wait until that time, but if you have to wait, if your one of those who put things off (I am one) then fine but do it this time, take control... TAKE CONTROL
Monday 8 October 2012
Monday 10 September 2012
Fear
It has been a while, and that's mainly because I haven't really wanted to write anything, I've kind of lost inspiration but I guess now things are slightly different.
Fear is the tilte of this post, and as always someone before me has put into words my feeling better than I could ever.
Fear is the tilte of this post, and as always someone before me has put into words my feeling better than I could ever.
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
Marcus Aurelius
I guess this quote is pretty bang on as the fear I have right now is an external one. To provide a bit of a recap back in March I hurt my knee playing football, 3 months later, after what I considered a reasonable rest (and following on from the Hospital telling me I was fine) I attempted to play football, and unsurprisingly my knee buckled again. I guess the best way to demonstrate the damage is through the pictures taken over the 3 days following the injury - look away now!
So yeah, not great. Fast forward to now and I have had an MRI scan, still in pain, although it is now intermittent which is better, and I got the call from the Doctors. "Mr Scully, the Dr would like you to come in for your results as soon as possible". Great, those final 4 words that we shorten to ASAP change the tone, it makes a person read into it and the fear and panic arrose. Unfortunately the first available appointment is Thursday at 11:10am so it's booked.
Before this confirmation I'd been brave, joking around saying things around how I just want a frigging operation so it is sorted. The issue is I love sport and it has been so hard the last few months not being able to do any, it pains me. We have had one of the best summers, despite what many believe, in a long time and there is nothing I would rather have done then to get a couple of beers and have a kick around in the park, diving around like I'm a child again. It has been so painful not being able to do that and I guess that is the biggest pain I have felt. As per usual I have kept it all inside but the inability to partake in running around and having fun has been soul destroying and just hurts so much.
Now, with the results in, the reality has hit. I'm now 99.9% sure I need an operation but the level of damage to my knee is unknown to be and all I can do right now is have my mind playing out scenario after scenario and none of them are good. What makes it worse is that I have to wait, for 2 more flipping days!
So let's lay the scenarios out, and yes some of them are stupid!
1) I need to have it amputated - ok highly unlikely, less then a million to 1 chance but hey who knows, the nerve damage could be so bad that it could spread and damage my lower half of my body.
2) I need keyhole surgery - the most likely scenario but dear god am i terrified about undergoing surgery. Yes I know it isn't that bad but there can be complications and I am scared of it all, what if I wake up during the op, added to that I won't be able to do sport for a further 6 months whilst it heals which is just ridiculous.
3) More in depth surgery. Ok I think this is pretty likely, I know something isn't right with it and I just don't think it is a simple fix. My biggest fear is that the surgery ends my participation in sport full stop. I can't even put into words how hard that would be for me and how much it would crush me. I want to have a son an be in charge of his football/ softball/ whatever sport team. I want to be able to play football with him, have fun, run around, enjoy him growing up and if the operation ended any chance of that then wow I would be destroyed.
4) There is nothing wrong - I feel I can safely say there is no chance of this, I know my own body.
So there it is, the most likely scenarios see me without sport for a period of time from 6 months to forever and that scares me, and right now I just can't stop thinking SHIT what will I do. I am terrified and has all just got real. This is no longer something I can laugh about, it is something that scares me and will be playing on my mind until Thursday. Yes I now I can't do anything about it but that doesn't mean anything to me right now. It is going to be on my mind and that is that.
The question is do I prepare myself for the worse news?
How do I conquer this fear of something that I can't control?
How do I surpass my estimate of this fear to be able to get past it?
How do I get through this?
Sunday 1 July 2012
Day's Three and Four (Actually Just Day 3)
Woops, missed a day but I guess I can be forgiven due to being on holiday etc. So day 3... wow I need to retrack my memory to work out what I did, this trip is blending in to one whole day.
Ah, Ok so Day 3 was beach day. Keith managed to break the strap on his trusted Flip Flops so wanted to invest in some new ones. That meant a stroll through Silemma, through St Julians, up through PaceVille and to the shops. Walking in malta is a pleasure, sure it is hot but the sea views on the route are magical and the breeze refreshes you. The walk probably took the best part of an hour but it was good fun. So we get to the shop and I instinct buy some flip flops too, time to get the old feet tanned. Really good quality flip flops for 25 euro - bargain!! After "shopping" if I can call it that, we walked to the beach. As mentioned there is a festival in Malta at the moment so it was public holiday which ultimately meant that we would be going to a crowded beach. Upon arriving I was parched so we stopped in this nice little bar for a pint. The beach was super packed and the end with the fitties was vacant of space which meant we ended up near the families - no biggy.
The view even at the beach was awesome!
So after a good few hours lying around I walked into the sea, soooooooo refreshing, as it got deeper I swam a little and was in for a big shock when I put my foot down. Whilst it was still shallow, there was no longer sand underneath my feet and instead I managed to slam my right foot into a rock, a sharp one at that, great a cut foot, that is perfect for Flip Flops.......
We stayed there for a while and then headed back, planning to walk. On the walk we stopped in my old haunt, the Dubliners - if you ever go to Malta you have to go there, the staff are incredible, sure the drinks are a little pricier but it is awesome! After a drink we decided to hop on a bus back, that way it was a 10 minute journey. Now buses I remember in Malta are death traps, yellow metal on wheels with no door. They pack the buses like mad and have this annoying voice that says "Please move down" when it is clearly impossible to do so, and getting off the bus if you are at the back is not possible, you need to plan your exit about 4 stops before you get off. Added to that there were no bells, instead just a cord running across the side that you would pull and it would ring a minuscule bell next to the driver. Prepared for this we boarded and boy was I in for a shock. Now the buses are bigger, a different colour, and have bells - this isn't Malta!
Anyway we got back and decided to relax before our night out in Paceville or PV as it is known. There was a bit of miscommunication on what to eat between Keith and I so in the end it got to 10:30 and we hopped on the bus in with no food, woops!
PV had not changed! We started off in Hugos lounge, one of the few places you can take a seat close to midnight and Keith slammed his Magners down pretty darn quick. 3 drinks each later, and 40 minutes we moved on. This time to a place I'd never been and can't even remember its name however the antics in there will live forever. Within about 2 minutes the DJ played YMCA, Follow The Leader, We Will Rock You, Macarena and Mama Mia! What the hell???? Whilst it was enjoyable I'd had enough and we made a quick exit and moved to the next place. This time it was somewhere I had been before but a name I've forgotten. This was a bit more casual but now I had swapped my drink for the third time, onto Vodka Cranberry! YUMMMMMM.
It was a good laugh in there and provided me with a few stories I'm going to keep on the DL but let's say it was great to be back and I was on form :)
After we headed to Nordic Bar, another old haunt, to meet a few of my old mates. I saw Ian, had a quick drink and found out now their is an upstairs in Nordic Bar! Epic, up we go. Hmmmm let's just say it was a lot.... smaller than I imagined. I got talking to a lot of people and felt bad because Keith was little isolated but reassured me he was cool. I told a Swedish she was not swedish and then asked a Swedish guy if he thought she was, he was adamant that she was not so when I revealed she was he felt like a moron LOL! Unfortunately they got talking and she decided to tell him she wasn't which made him have a banter go at me and give me a friendly, but firm tap on my cheek for making him look like a fool. OH NO SHE DIDN'T! Determined to rectify this I forced her to admit to him she was at which point he looked at me and said "free slap back, hit me". I made sure this one time counted :)
Eventually we got a cab back and crashed at around 5am, felt like it was still 10pm... woops. Oh here are some pics of the night! Not sure if the vid will work!
Hmm poor quality, woops. Ok I can;t be bothered to write day 4 up as this was quite a long one, but I'll post it soon!
Ah, Ok so Day 3 was beach day. Keith managed to break the strap on his trusted Flip Flops so wanted to invest in some new ones. That meant a stroll through Silemma, through St Julians, up through PaceVille and to the shops. Walking in malta is a pleasure, sure it is hot but the sea views on the route are magical and the breeze refreshes you. The walk probably took the best part of an hour but it was good fun. So we get to the shop and I instinct buy some flip flops too, time to get the old feet tanned. Really good quality flip flops for 25 euro - bargain!! After "shopping" if I can call it that, we walked to the beach. As mentioned there is a festival in Malta at the moment so it was public holiday which ultimately meant that we would be going to a crowded beach. Upon arriving I was parched so we stopped in this nice little bar for a pint. The beach was super packed and the end with the fitties was vacant of space which meant we ended up near the families - no biggy.
The view even at the beach was awesome!
So after a good few hours lying around I walked into the sea, soooooooo refreshing, as it got deeper I swam a little and was in for a big shock when I put my foot down. Whilst it was still shallow, there was no longer sand underneath my feet and instead I managed to slam my right foot into a rock, a sharp one at that, great a cut foot, that is perfect for Flip Flops.......
We stayed there for a while and then headed back, planning to walk. On the walk we stopped in my old haunt, the Dubliners - if you ever go to Malta you have to go there, the staff are incredible, sure the drinks are a little pricier but it is awesome! After a drink we decided to hop on a bus back, that way it was a 10 minute journey. Now buses I remember in Malta are death traps, yellow metal on wheels with no door. They pack the buses like mad and have this annoying voice that says "Please move down" when it is clearly impossible to do so, and getting off the bus if you are at the back is not possible, you need to plan your exit about 4 stops before you get off. Added to that there were no bells, instead just a cord running across the side that you would pull and it would ring a minuscule bell next to the driver. Prepared for this we boarded and boy was I in for a shock. Now the buses are bigger, a different colour, and have bells - this isn't Malta!
Anyway we got back and decided to relax before our night out in Paceville or PV as it is known. There was a bit of miscommunication on what to eat between Keith and I so in the end it got to 10:30 and we hopped on the bus in with no food, woops!
PV had not changed! We started off in Hugos lounge, one of the few places you can take a seat close to midnight and Keith slammed his Magners down pretty darn quick. 3 drinks each later, and 40 minutes we moved on. This time to a place I'd never been and can't even remember its name however the antics in there will live forever. Within about 2 minutes the DJ played YMCA, Follow The Leader, We Will Rock You, Macarena and Mama Mia! What the hell???? Whilst it was enjoyable I'd had enough and we made a quick exit and moved to the next place. This time it was somewhere I had been before but a name I've forgotten. This was a bit more casual but now I had swapped my drink for the third time, onto Vodka Cranberry! YUMMMMMM.
It was a good laugh in there and provided me with a few stories I'm going to keep on the DL but let's say it was great to be back and I was on form :)
After we headed to Nordic Bar, another old haunt, to meet a few of my old mates. I saw Ian, had a quick drink and found out now their is an upstairs in Nordic Bar! Epic, up we go. Hmmmm let's just say it was a lot.... smaller than I imagined. I got talking to a lot of people and felt bad because Keith was little isolated but reassured me he was cool. I told a Swedish she was not swedish and then asked a Swedish guy if he thought she was, he was adamant that she was not so when I revealed she was he felt like a moron LOL! Unfortunately they got talking and she decided to tell him she wasn't which made him have a banter go at me and give me a friendly, but firm tap on my cheek for making him look like a fool. OH NO SHE DIDN'T! Determined to rectify this I forced her to admit to him she was at which point he looked at me and said "free slap back, hit me". I made sure this one time counted :)
Eventually we got a cab back and crashed at around 5am, felt like it was still 10pm... woops. Oh here are some pics of the night! Not sure if the vid will work!
Hmm poor quality, woops. Ok I can;t be bothered to write day 4 up as this was quite a long one, but I'll post it soon!
Friday 29 June 2012
The Rock - Day Two
Fortina Hotel is literally 2 minutes from Keiths but the difference in view is astronomical. They have a great set up with 3 pools (1 for children, a slightly deeper one next to it and the main pool). This all overlooks Valetta which is full of old buildings making for an incredible view from your sunlounger. Keith had told me that it is 12 Euro for theday or 6 Euro after 1:30 - we went at 1:45 and the swines had changed the time to 3:30 which meant we paid 12. Keith owed me 55 euro from the night before so this time it was on him. Whilst the beer was a little more expensive it was still less than £3 for a Stella. Fantastic!
We chilled by the pool for a while with Keith dipping in. I have a bit of an issue about my back, ever since I got burnt at 14 it has become very sensitive which means that in the summer it flares up with spots looking like the moons craters or a volcanic eruption - not the best. With that in mind I decided to keep my shirt on, that soon changed and I took a dip in the pool briefly which was refreshing.
Here's the view!
Unfortunately, despite lathering myself in sun lotion my stomach is now a lot redder than normal - sigh!
After Fortina we left for a walk back to Keiths to change. At 8ish we headed down to Surfside to chill on the cushions and watch the football! It's a shame it was dark as the picture from the night doesn't really show the view. To give you an idea the bar is right on the sea/ beach so I had a projector in front of me, and to my left the ocean! Not bad.
Now in Malta the locals either claim to be English or Italian - or both. This meant that after Italy's surprise victory we knew what we were in for. On the walk back to Keiths the roads were almost at a standstill with people leaning out the windows, sitting in the open boot waving their flags. Its pretty cool but very OTT.
Keith was a little tired so we posponed the night out and stopped for a tasty chicken plate which was super healthy and tasty. When we got back I stayed up to watch some poker on my laptop and Keith hit the sack. I ended up staying up until 3am ish and went to bed myself - hardcore haha.
THis morning sees the start of a festival in Malta. A great ceremony with fantastic decorations on the street - it also means that at 7:30 am they were setting off fireworks essentially outside my bedroom window. Great wake up call - and they don't show anything just smoke because it is day time!!! They were the loudest fireworks ever it felt like someone was on a gun rampage outside, ah well leave them be - probably the same people beeping their horns celebrating Italy's win yesterday that are now Maltese again ;).
The plan today is to head to the beach and chill there - less alcohol in the day for Keith so that he can be awake for a night out and I will aim to drink more water but will likely have a couple of beers on the beach front! Not a bad life right now at all Also due to the heat etc I've seen myself lose some weight here - also the fact that the food is pretty healthy in the way it is cooked and the copious amounts of salad served with it!
I'll keep you all posted!
Thursday 28 June 2012
A journey to the rock
So it's nearly July and my last post was back in May, wow that is poor. To be honest nothing major has happened recently,nothing blog worthy anyway. Unfortunately my knee is still really bad which is frustrating but ho hum it'll fix and if not here's to the operation.
I kind of made a promise to myself to write about my current trip as it will serve me well to look over in the future. I am in Malta at the moment in glorious sunshine and absolutely loving it. Some of the loner term readers may remember that I was living here and working for 3 months 2 years ago and I made a snap decision that I wanted to visit again especially during the Euros as the Maltese are passionate about football.
So Wednesday I woke up at 3:30 am to get ready for my 4:15 am cab to take me to Luton airport. Everything was packed and I was good to go. Cab arrived on time and after realising our M1 junction was closed for roadworks (WTF) we took a detour through Watford, always good to have loads of time in hand as it made the journey relaxing. I got to the airport at 4:45 and went straight to check in. It was pretty funny seeing the two people in front of me get to the desk and get told their bags were overweight... noobs. I had no such worry and was checked in within 30 seconds of approaching the desk - ship it Ryan Air. Interestingly as my flight was not until 6:40 Luton have a new policy where you go back outside and in through the arrivals to go through security. Again pretty damn smooth, apart from having my phone swobbed - not sure how to react to that, they clearly think either I look dodgy or I look like a genius that can bombify my phone, either way no biggy.
Unfortunately going through the arrivals means that you are entering at departure gate 1 which whilst it was the one I'd be leaving from, has very little to offer. I took the long walk to gate 26 to get my breakfast. £10 for a beer and full english (2 has browns, 2 bacon, 2 sausage, 2 eggs, tomato and mushroom... the last two were left on the plate.) Bit odd to be having a beer at 5 am but was kind of fun. My baseball team SF Giants were playing our rivals the Dodgers so I managed to get that up on my phone and chill out. At about 6:15 casual walk to the gate and was thankful I had paid the extra £10 to reserve a seat - meant priority boarding so whilst all the cheapskates were in a 100 deep queue I got to walk straight on. After a seat change due to an obscenely obese woman sitting in row 1 and therefore not being fit enough to help open the emergency exit I ended up with even more leg room. It;s a little uncomfortable having 2 attractive air hostesses sitting opposite you when you take off but I did what all men should do and flirted my way to a number. No intention of calling, it was more an ego/ confidence booster to get the week started.
Malta airport are super quick and I was off the plane, collected my bag and in my pre booked cab 10 minutes before my plane was scheduled to land. Cabbie was cool and dropped me off at my mate Keiths. Keith is a legend for letting me stay at his and it is an amazing apartment. First thing I realised is how hot Malta is again... woops. Keith had some work to do so I sat in the sun looking at the view and playing a bit of online super low stakes poker (prop bet with a mate where I have to turn 0 into a decent amount which I won't name within 6 months). Poker session went well as I span the $5 up into 50. Keith finished working so off to the bars.
We went to an awesome bar with really nice cold beer. 6 hours later and a meal finally eaten we discussed where to watch the football. By this point I'm a little tipsy and tired and paid the bill. (6 hours, a lot of beer and two lovely burgers for 50 euro between us... awesome!!) Unfortunately we had no change for a tip so I turned to the girls behind to ask for change Obviously we could of got change from the waitress but this was an easy opener. The girls turned out to be Samantha - a recruiter out here, and Mimi - a Swedish girl who she was prepping for interview over a bottle of wine! They were lovely and we persuaded them to come to the football at a bar later. We shot home to shower, I wanted a nap but Keith refused to allow me to, and we headed out to the bar.
The bar was a regular haunt for me before and after being forced to drink a Cisk the time was hitting me. Sam sent a text saying she wasn't coming and to be honest I was glad, far too tired to go anywhere after the game, and to be honest the game sucked a bit. So at half time we took the 2 minute walk back to Keiths to watch the end. Within 5 minutes he was asleep so I stayed up watching the game before hitting the sack. Great first day.
Today I woke up at 9 after a good 8 hour sleep and feel refreshed. Keith had some work to do so I played a bit more poker (up to 100 now... boom) and wrote this.
Plan today was to go to a 5* hotel to chill at their 2 pools with amazing view - 12 euro to get in for the full day. It's now 12:30 so we are just doing the PM session for 6 euro and Keith is making me a bacon sandwich. I can't really complain. I think after the pool we will shower etc and head to ether a football club or Spinola bay to watch the game - should be a good one but a comfortable 3-1 victory for Germany with Ozil getting a goal that he deserves. I imagine we will hit PV (clubbing zone) tonight and it will be a late one. I have a fair few mates in Malta that will join us so it will be a fun day.
Here's to enjoying this week!
I kind of made a promise to myself to write about my current trip as it will serve me well to look over in the future. I am in Malta at the moment in glorious sunshine and absolutely loving it. Some of the loner term readers may remember that I was living here and working for 3 months 2 years ago and I made a snap decision that I wanted to visit again especially during the Euros as the Maltese are passionate about football.
So Wednesday I woke up at 3:30 am to get ready for my 4:15 am cab to take me to Luton airport. Everything was packed and I was good to go. Cab arrived on time and after realising our M1 junction was closed for roadworks (WTF) we took a detour through Watford, always good to have loads of time in hand as it made the journey relaxing. I got to the airport at 4:45 and went straight to check in. It was pretty funny seeing the two people in front of me get to the desk and get told their bags were overweight... noobs. I had no such worry and was checked in within 30 seconds of approaching the desk - ship it Ryan Air. Interestingly as my flight was not until 6:40 Luton have a new policy where you go back outside and in through the arrivals to go through security. Again pretty damn smooth, apart from having my phone swobbed - not sure how to react to that, they clearly think either I look dodgy or I look like a genius that can bombify my phone, either way no biggy.
Unfortunately going through the arrivals means that you are entering at departure gate 1 which whilst it was the one I'd be leaving from, has very little to offer. I took the long walk to gate 26 to get my breakfast. £10 for a beer and full english (2 has browns, 2 bacon, 2 sausage, 2 eggs, tomato and mushroom... the last two were left on the plate.) Bit odd to be having a beer at 5 am but was kind of fun. My baseball team SF Giants were playing our rivals the Dodgers so I managed to get that up on my phone and chill out. At about 6:15 casual walk to the gate and was thankful I had paid the extra £10 to reserve a seat - meant priority boarding so whilst all the cheapskates were in a 100 deep queue I got to walk straight on. After a seat change due to an obscenely obese woman sitting in row 1 and therefore not being fit enough to help open the emergency exit I ended up with even more leg room. It;s a little uncomfortable having 2 attractive air hostesses sitting opposite you when you take off but I did what all men should do and flirted my way to a number. No intention of calling, it was more an ego/ confidence booster to get the week started.
Malta airport are super quick and I was off the plane, collected my bag and in my pre booked cab 10 minutes before my plane was scheduled to land. Cabbie was cool and dropped me off at my mate Keiths. Keith is a legend for letting me stay at his and it is an amazing apartment. First thing I realised is how hot Malta is again... woops. Keith had some work to do so I sat in the sun looking at the view and playing a bit of online super low stakes poker (prop bet with a mate where I have to turn 0 into a decent amount which I won't name within 6 months). Poker session went well as I span the $5 up into 50. Keith finished working so off to the bars.
We went to an awesome bar with really nice cold beer. 6 hours later and a meal finally eaten we discussed where to watch the football. By this point I'm a little tipsy and tired and paid the bill. (6 hours, a lot of beer and two lovely burgers for 50 euro between us... awesome!!) Unfortunately we had no change for a tip so I turned to the girls behind to ask for change Obviously we could of got change from the waitress but this was an easy opener. The girls turned out to be Samantha - a recruiter out here, and Mimi - a Swedish girl who she was prepping for interview over a bottle of wine! They were lovely and we persuaded them to come to the football at a bar later. We shot home to shower, I wanted a nap but Keith refused to allow me to, and we headed out to the bar.
The bar was a regular haunt for me before and after being forced to drink a Cisk the time was hitting me. Sam sent a text saying she wasn't coming and to be honest I was glad, far too tired to go anywhere after the game, and to be honest the game sucked a bit. So at half time we took the 2 minute walk back to Keiths to watch the end. Within 5 minutes he was asleep so I stayed up watching the game before hitting the sack. Great first day.
Today I woke up at 9 after a good 8 hour sleep and feel refreshed. Keith had some work to do so I played a bit more poker (up to 100 now... boom) and wrote this.
Plan today was to go to a 5* hotel to chill at their 2 pools with amazing view - 12 euro to get in for the full day. It's now 12:30 so we are just doing the PM session for 6 euro and Keith is making me a bacon sandwich. I can't really complain. I think after the pool we will shower etc and head to ether a football club or Spinola bay to watch the game - should be a good one but a comfortable 3-1 victory for Germany with Ozil getting a goal that he deserves. I imagine we will hit PV (clubbing zone) tonight and it will be a late one. I have a fair few mates in Malta that will join us so it will be a fun day.
Here's to enjoying this week!
Wednesday 16 May 2012
Best Friend OR Worst Enemy
It's been a while since I have blogged and everything is going pretty well. I had a bit of a shock recently when I weighed myself, it turned out I had lost weight without realising, which is obviously great, but a little odd. I think a lot of it comes down to taking gluten out of the diet and being conscious of the amount of carbonated drinks I consume - this body is my only one, let's not destroy it.
So my knee has made developments, it is pretty damaged and the ligaments are not impressed with me. After it happened I purchased a new walking sticks, I'm so lame that I got a replica of Hugh Laurie's in House in the hope it would make me look AWESOME. In my opinion it did. The problem is that despite 3 people making spontaneous references to it, the only compliments I was getting were from the elderly ladies. They would ask me where I got my stick for and compliment me on it whilst I looked at theirs in disgust, I mean come on if you have to use a stick then surely get an epic one not some massive looped one that makes you look.... well elderly haha.
In all seriousness I have come on recovering ahead of my expectations. I am under no illusions that I am out of sport (baseball and football :( ) for the next 3 months but I am free from my stick and this week started driving again. It is mental how much you miss not having full use, walking down stairs is super wobbly as the ligament that suffered the worst damage is the one that keeps our balance.... uh oh.
Being able to drive again is awesome. I really appreciated my lifts too and from work but unfortunately if your lift is late it makes you late and that ultimately pisses me right off as the one thing I hate is being late.
With regards to my love life, a lot of people have been asking. It's kind of a weird situation. It took me a while to feel ready to go out into the world as a single guy again, and I never go out looking to pull, that's just not me. Now that I was feeling better about socialising and my social life had come back to being great, my knee decided to go on vacation so, for the next few weeks at least, there will be no updates on the love life. I'm also in a weird spot regarding all of that. As regular readers would know my goal is to get back to America to stay permanently, and my timeline means this should be soon so I kind of don't want to date anyone here. I'm worried that what if I find someone I really care about and ultimately I end up staying here, would I end up resenting them for preventing me from achieving my dream?
Ah well - at least I have friends around, with regular poker happening with the lads again, my body and eating health wise improving (more on that in 3 months) and my mood being better than for a while life is looking goood!!!!
Catch up with you all soon and don't be afraid to comment :) Seeing how many views I get is such a boost for morale and thank you for that!
So my knee has made developments, it is pretty damaged and the ligaments are not impressed with me. After it happened I purchased a new walking sticks, I'm so lame that I got a replica of Hugh Laurie's in House in the hope it would make me look AWESOME. In my opinion it did. The problem is that despite 3 people making spontaneous references to it, the only compliments I was getting were from the elderly ladies. They would ask me where I got my stick for and compliment me on it whilst I looked at theirs in disgust, I mean come on if you have to use a stick then surely get an epic one not some massive looped one that makes you look.... well elderly haha.
In all seriousness I have come on recovering ahead of my expectations. I am under no illusions that I am out of sport (baseball and football :( ) for the next 3 months but I am free from my stick and this week started driving again. It is mental how much you miss not having full use, walking down stairs is super wobbly as the ligament that suffered the worst damage is the one that keeps our balance.... uh oh.
Being able to drive again is awesome. I really appreciated my lifts too and from work but unfortunately if your lift is late it makes you late and that ultimately pisses me right off as the one thing I hate is being late.
With regards to my love life, a lot of people have been asking. It's kind of a weird situation. It took me a while to feel ready to go out into the world as a single guy again, and I never go out looking to pull, that's just not me. Now that I was feeling better about socialising and my social life had come back to being great, my knee decided to go on vacation so, for the next few weeks at least, there will be no updates on the love life. I'm also in a weird spot regarding all of that. As regular readers would know my goal is to get back to America to stay permanently, and my timeline means this should be soon so I kind of don't want to date anyone here. I'm worried that what if I find someone I really care about and ultimately I end up staying here, would I end up resenting them for preventing me from achieving my dream?
Ah well - at least I have friends around, with regular poker happening with the lads again, my body and eating health wise improving (more on that in 3 months) and my mood being better than for a while life is looking goood!!!!
Catch up with you all soon and don't be afraid to comment :) Seeing how many views I get is such a boost for morale and thank you for that!
Monday 23 April 2012
Memory or Delusion
I'm writing this blog post lying on bed with my left leg elevated by a folded pillow and 2 cushions, mellowed by pain killers yet feeling a constant throb threw the bandage.
Have you ever recalled something, a memory you can see as clear as day, and lived by it to some extent, or in some cases hindered your living by it, only to discover that things aren't quite how you remember?
As mentioned in earlier posts I have a phobia of hospitals - I found out recently that this is completely self inflicted. You see my memory of running around a hospital where my great aunt lay singing your nearly dead didn't quite happen like that. Sure enough I was visiting my Great Aunt, and yes, she was close to ending her journey, but she wasn't in a hospital, in fact she was in the old dears accommodation, a nursing home, a retirement home, the old folks inn. And yes, I did run around screaming your nearly dead, but it wasn't directly to her or the other people who were close to a surcease on their lives, instead it was in a quad outside. Sure their windows were all open and they definitely would have heard the cruelty, of a young child, filled with life, at the start of the journey, whilst they were coming to an end of theirs, a somewhat antagonistic situation for them, but I'd like to think that inside of them, they were smiling. (why is it when people get to a certain age where the pearly gates are in front of them, their face muscles have relaxed to an extent where they could be mistaken as Stalter and Waldorf from the Muppet's, or for the non Muppet fans, Fabio Cappello -that any attempt as an external smile looks more like they are in the process of breaking wind?)
Anyway, what does all that mean? It means I'm scared of hospitals because I created a memory in a parallel dimension, a different place, the fear is self caused and thus very difficult to work out the direct resolution, as surely people get over the fear by putting them in the situation that first caused the fear. In order to combat this fear I need to visit an old peoples home and have an enjoyable experience where I leave happy (please no pervy comments) and then remember it as having taken place in a hospital. You may see my dilemma, first of all, as sure as I am that according to the telly old people love random youngsters (oi I'm 24 that's still young in comparison) paying them a visit, I do live in London. London is a place where if a 24 year old male walks in to an old people's home, eyebrows will be raised and I am sure as hell to fall victim to an interrogation experienced by few. Security will be called by reception, and it's a pretty awkward conversation that would lie ahead, in fact let's play it out.
ME: Hi there,
Receptionists (from now on referred to as R and Security as S to save energy): Hi, who are you hear to see?
ME: Um nobody in particular
R: Sorry? Do you have a relative here?
ME: No, I just wanted to pop in and have a good time.
R: You wanted to have a good time in a old people's home?
ME: Yeah, pretty hard to explain.
R: Hold on one second (Security arrive, to security) This young man has come in but he isn't visiting anyone in particular.
S: Sir why are you here?
ME: Well, I had a bad memory of something happening in a hospital, but it actually happened in an old people's home, and in order to overcome the irrational fear that arrived, I wanted to come along and have a more enjoyable experience.
S: You had a bad memory that you thought happened in a hospital. Sir did somebody touch you and now you want to touch them?
ME: wooooah hold on sheriff not like that you sick perv, last time I was in one of these joints I was singing your nearly dead, and I want to remedy this.
And so on - not a conversation I want to rush.
So how does this all tie in to my current situation? Well playing football today I was using my blistering pace (OK it was a light jog) down the wing, skilled one guy (kicked the ball too far and slid to win it back) before doing a step over with my right leg (that was surprisingly meant) and went to flick it with my left. As i caught the ball with my left and the left leg returned to ground an almighty click/ knock occurred and a pain rocketed through my knee sending me in to a masculine scream. It turns out the click was heard by the person in the goal 30+metres away (although I may exaggerate this to be 100m at a later date, possibly even a mile for effect- he was the furthest away who knows how far it could be heard). I lay on the floor, something that is a regular occurrence in our games, but usually due to a small knock and me seeing it as the optimum time to catch my breath, only this time the pain didn't go, in fact it got worse. I've broken bones before, been electrocuted, twisted ankles, been punched, hit by a car, none of them compare to the pain I am currently feeling.
Here's the issue - I can't go to the hospital because I haven't conquered my fear and I can't now because if I walk in with a walking stick it will look like I am ridiculing the old people, and lead to another bad memory. So instead I lie here in pain, googling the symptoms and can 100% say that this is a life threatening injury and the end of my days..... fine fine, I'm sure it's ligament injury, and judging by the diagram and symptoms available at BUPA online (other medical online places are available but they are ranked number one on google so either they are shit hot or they have a guru at SEO (search engine optimisation - a techy thing), either way they are the ones I'm using) and it appears like it is the lateral collateral ligament. My options are these:
1) As some people have put it - Man the F Up and let it heal itself
2) Man the F Up and go to the hospital (even if I man the f up they aren't going to be able to treat it I'd have to wait for hours to see them to be told that I need an appointment)
3) Go to the Doctors
4) Go to a physio
I like option 4, sure it costs but they are cool. I happen to know an Arsenal Physio and due to the Jack Wilshire situation, I may go in with a torn ligament and eventually it will be claimed to be a burst vein or something 100 times worse that prevents me from ever being fit again, but that's a risk I will take and I am sorry to all my fans of my football but it may mean never being back to play hahaha
Anyway this blog took you on a journey, one of adventure I'd like to think.
A quote from Soren Kierkegaard repeated by Micky Flanagan "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." This quote pretty much means, as Micky put, we are unable to process the experiences we have in the moment, we can never be in the moment, instead it can only be processed in a memory, and my input - make sure the memories are real ones so you don't screw yourself up like I have :)
Have you ever recalled something, a memory you can see as clear as day, and lived by it to some extent, or in some cases hindered your living by it, only to discover that things aren't quite how you remember?
As mentioned in earlier posts I have a phobia of hospitals - I found out recently that this is completely self inflicted. You see my memory of running around a hospital where my great aunt lay singing your nearly dead didn't quite happen like that. Sure enough I was visiting my Great Aunt, and yes, she was close to ending her journey, but she wasn't in a hospital, in fact she was in the old dears accommodation, a nursing home, a retirement home, the old folks inn. And yes, I did run around screaming your nearly dead, but it wasn't directly to her or the other people who were close to a surcease on their lives, instead it was in a quad outside. Sure their windows were all open and they definitely would have heard the cruelty, of a young child, filled with life, at the start of the journey, whilst they were coming to an end of theirs, a somewhat antagonistic situation for them, but I'd like to think that inside of them, they were smiling. (why is it when people get to a certain age where the pearly gates are in front of them, their face muscles have relaxed to an extent where they could be mistaken as Stalter and Waldorf from the Muppet's, or for the non Muppet fans, Fabio Cappello -that any attempt as an external smile looks more like they are in the process of breaking wind?)
Anyway, what does all that mean? It means I'm scared of hospitals because I created a memory in a parallel dimension, a different place, the fear is self caused and thus very difficult to work out the direct resolution, as surely people get over the fear by putting them in the situation that first caused the fear. In order to combat this fear I need to visit an old peoples home and have an enjoyable experience where I leave happy (please no pervy comments) and then remember it as having taken place in a hospital. You may see my dilemma, first of all, as sure as I am that according to the telly old people love random youngsters (oi I'm 24 that's still young in comparison) paying them a visit, I do live in London. London is a place where if a 24 year old male walks in to an old people's home, eyebrows will be raised and I am sure as hell to fall victim to an interrogation experienced by few. Security will be called by reception, and it's a pretty awkward conversation that would lie ahead, in fact let's play it out.
ME: Hi there,
Receptionists (from now on referred to as R and Security as S to save energy): Hi, who are you hear to see?
ME: Um nobody in particular
R: Sorry? Do you have a relative here?
ME: No, I just wanted to pop in and have a good time.
R: You wanted to have a good time in a old people's home?
ME: Yeah, pretty hard to explain.
R: Hold on one second (Security arrive, to security) This young man has come in but he isn't visiting anyone in particular.
S: Sir why are you here?
ME: Well, I had a bad memory of something happening in a hospital, but it actually happened in an old people's home, and in order to overcome the irrational fear that arrived, I wanted to come along and have a more enjoyable experience.
S: You had a bad memory that you thought happened in a hospital. Sir did somebody touch you and now you want to touch them?
ME: wooooah hold on sheriff not like that you sick perv, last time I was in one of these joints I was singing your nearly dead, and I want to remedy this.
And so on - not a conversation I want to rush.
So how does this all tie in to my current situation? Well playing football today I was using my blistering pace (OK it was a light jog) down the wing, skilled one guy (kicked the ball too far and slid to win it back) before doing a step over with my right leg (that was surprisingly meant) and went to flick it with my left. As i caught the ball with my left and the left leg returned to ground an almighty click/ knock occurred and a pain rocketed through my knee sending me in to a masculine scream. It turns out the click was heard by the person in the goal 30+metres away (although I may exaggerate this to be 100m at a later date, possibly even a mile for effect- he was the furthest away who knows how far it could be heard). I lay on the floor, something that is a regular occurrence in our games, but usually due to a small knock and me seeing it as the optimum time to catch my breath, only this time the pain didn't go, in fact it got worse. I've broken bones before, been electrocuted, twisted ankles, been punched, hit by a car, none of them compare to the pain I am currently feeling.
Here's the issue - I can't go to the hospital because I haven't conquered my fear and I can't now because if I walk in with a walking stick it will look like I am ridiculing the old people, and lead to another bad memory. So instead I lie here in pain, googling the symptoms and can 100% say that this is a life threatening injury and the end of my days..... fine fine, I'm sure it's ligament injury, and judging by the diagram and symptoms available at BUPA online (other medical online places are available but they are ranked number one on google so either they are shit hot or they have a guru at SEO (search engine optimisation - a techy thing), either way they are the ones I'm using) and it appears like it is the lateral collateral ligament. My options are these:
1) As some people have put it - Man the F Up and let it heal itself
2) Man the F Up and go to the hospital (even if I man the f up they aren't going to be able to treat it I'd have to wait for hours to see them to be told that I need an appointment)
3) Go to the Doctors
4) Go to a physio
I like option 4, sure it costs but they are cool. I happen to know an Arsenal Physio and due to the Jack Wilshire situation, I may go in with a torn ligament and eventually it will be claimed to be a burst vein or something 100 times worse that prevents me from ever being fit again, but that's a risk I will take and I am sorry to all my fans of my football but it may mean never being back to play hahaha
Anyway this blog took you on a journey, one of adventure I'd like to think.
A quote from Soren Kierkegaard repeated by Micky Flanagan "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." This quote pretty much means, as Micky put, we are unable to process the experiences we have in the moment, we can never be in the moment, instead it can only be processed in a memory, and my input - make sure the memories are real ones so you don't screw yourself up like I have :)
Wednesday 18 April 2012
Stress? Zen? Candles?
Wow things are kind of manic at the moment, a little prediction for how this blog will pan out is, as per usual, a strange Titile, an interesting attention grabbing start, possibly a plan, and a failure to follow that plan. I guess this will be another journey through my thoughts as I type and at times some of you will get lost and give up, others will perserve, but ultimately all of you will more than likely finish disappointed and unfulfilled.
Ok so it's kind of odd - recenlty health has been a little off and its annoying, issues are that I have had brutal pains in my back recently and that is slowly getting better. Add to that the fact that I woke up on thursday with a pain in my jaw to realise I'd dislocated it from grinding, so I guess from stress. Anyway the plan is to get that all sorted. First off, on Dr's orders Gluten has vanished from my diet. I know this is going to be blooming hard and it will take a lot of will power to say bye to normal bread and pasta, saying bye to kebabs pizzas and chips is fine and I think I'll cope easily there, however saying bye to sausages, noooo :( The thing is in the few days I have been doing it I have felt a difference.I feel a lot more energetic, a lot less bloated and a lot happier. I actually bought a normal sandwich on Tuesday and took one bite and felt bloated so threw it away. Yes I failed quick but I moved on away from it immediately. My Gluten free package has arrived so I am going to be creative in the kitchen this weekend to see what I can do - I am so cool I bet you are all jealous.
Onto the stress. It is weird to have someone tell you that you are stressed and when you go to argue with them you stop and think about it and realise, damn I am stressed haha. I guess it is a whole load of reasons. At work I am the only Permanent Recruitment Consultant which makes things pretty tough as I have to follow up all Business Leads, fill all my roles and manage the processes. I kind of think I have tried so hard to do everything at once that I am spreading myslf too thin and ending up working until 7pm in the office and 10pm at home. Add to that the issue that myself and my colleauge work late once a week to target American companies and all of a sudden I am doing 70 hour weeks.
Other causes of stress are Ex friends, one in particular has been a bit silly for a while and I won't go in to the ins and outs but instead of moving on after something he has acted like a child and apparently made stupid claims which I;ve realised I can no longer be bothered with. It culminanted in me having to not go out with the group of friends for a mates birthday, but instead we went out the next day and it was an amazing night.
I've also decided to incorporate a bit of Zen into my life, just some of the mind relaxation methods and at the same time am thinking of taking it easy this weekend, weather permitted relaxing in the sun or sitting in my room with chilled out music and my eyes close for a while just to relax and take it slow. Like I said I am so cool with my cooking and meditating.
In terms of everything else family are amazing and I went to a beautiful wedding. It's odd because I'd kind of taken a step back thinking that I don't want to get married but being part of two amazing people's special day made me realise that who knows what lies ahead, I'm not adversed to marriage if I meet the right person. They walked down the aisle to "A whole new world" played on a harp which was pretty damn magical. It was good because I spent the weekend with the family before travelling down to watch Arsenal beat Man City.
The other great thing at the moment is I am getting my social life back, I am trying to leave work at a good time and have plans to go and see people in evenings as they let me stop thinking about work and relax. I am so happy to have certain people there for me.
Hm this blog has been odd - No more gluten, no more stress, more zen, more relaxing, more social life should lead to a happier me. Here's hoping!
Ok so it's kind of odd - recenlty health has been a little off and its annoying, issues are that I have had brutal pains in my back recently and that is slowly getting better. Add to that the fact that I woke up on thursday with a pain in my jaw to realise I'd dislocated it from grinding, so I guess from stress. Anyway the plan is to get that all sorted. First off, on Dr's orders Gluten has vanished from my diet. I know this is going to be blooming hard and it will take a lot of will power to say bye to normal bread and pasta, saying bye to kebabs pizzas and chips is fine and I think I'll cope easily there, however saying bye to sausages, noooo :( The thing is in the few days I have been doing it I have felt a difference.I feel a lot more energetic, a lot less bloated and a lot happier. I actually bought a normal sandwich on Tuesday and took one bite and felt bloated so threw it away. Yes I failed quick but I moved on away from it immediately. My Gluten free package has arrived so I am going to be creative in the kitchen this weekend to see what I can do - I am so cool I bet you are all jealous.
Onto the stress. It is weird to have someone tell you that you are stressed and when you go to argue with them you stop and think about it and realise, damn I am stressed haha. I guess it is a whole load of reasons. At work I am the only Permanent Recruitment Consultant which makes things pretty tough as I have to follow up all Business Leads, fill all my roles and manage the processes. I kind of think I have tried so hard to do everything at once that I am spreading myslf too thin and ending up working until 7pm in the office and 10pm at home. Add to that the issue that myself and my colleauge work late once a week to target American companies and all of a sudden I am doing 70 hour weeks.
Other causes of stress are Ex friends, one in particular has been a bit silly for a while and I won't go in to the ins and outs but instead of moving on after something he has acted like a child and apparently made stupid claims which I;ve realised I can no longer be bothered with. It culminanted in me having to not go out with the group of friends for a mates birthday, but instead we went out the next day and it was an amazing night.
I've also decided to incorporate a bit of Zen into my life, just some of the mind relaxation methods and at the same time am thinking of taking it easy this weekend, weather permitted relaxing in the sun or sitting in my room with chilled out music and my eyes close for a while just to relax and take it slow. Like I said I am so cool with my cooking and meditating.
In terms of everything else family are amazing and I went to a beautiful wedding. It's odd because I'd kind of taken a step back thinking that I don't want to get married but being part of two amazing people's special day made me realise that who knows what lies ahead, I'm not adversed to marriage if I meet the right person. They walked down the aisle to "A whole new world" played on a harp which was pretty damn magical. It was good because I spent the weekend with the family before travelling down to watch Arsenal beat Man City.
The other great thing at the moment is I am getting my social life back, I am trying to leave work at a good time and have plans to go and see people in evenings as they let me stop thinking about work and relax. I am so happy to have certain people there for me.
Hm this blog has been odd - No more gluten, no more stress, more zen, more relaxing, more social life should lead to a happier me. Here's hoping!
Sunday 25 March 2012
Catching Up
So I have gone through the stage of ignoring this again. TO be honest I have wanted to write, I love doing it, just there is never enough time these days. That's a lie I could make time just I wanted to give this the attention it deserves when I write.
Anyway I realised a while back that my goal, dream, aim, whatever you want to call it, is to get to America, to live there and to grow there. People often ask me why, and I kind of can't explain it but I'll give it a try.
Life is complicated, that won't change wherever you live, but there will be different complications. My time in America was magical, the truth is I loved going in to work, I loved being where I was, but most of all I loved the people. In the UK if someone smiles at you or wishes you a good day we think they are a freak. People seem to believe that if people do anything nice they must have an ulterior motive. Since Jan last year, following my time in America, I decided to do one good deed a day, or one thing that puts someone else first. They don't need to know it was me, I don't go around looking for things to do, but there are numerous opportunities we get every day that use to be seen as common curteousy. I'm glad to say that to this day I have achieved it every day. It is awesome, the feeling you get after is such a buzz and at the end of the day as your settling down to sleep you can think back to it with a smile on your face. You see no matter how shit a day you've had, it's one where hopefully you have had a positive effect on somebody else's life... so it can't of been that shit.
This isn't something I can say I learnt in America, but it's something that I realised I needed to change in myself. The weather in Cali was so glorious and I made some of the best friends ever. I love Baseball and American football, I love the process behind it, that people play at school/ college and enter a draft where teams bid for them. It's perfect to allow for the competitive nature in the leagues and the fan support is an experience everyone has to have.
Another reason is my interests, where I see my working career go. I love the online gaming industry and the people in it, particularly poker. I am blessed to have some of the contacts I do, and to have worked in online gaming in 3 different countries at such a young age. My degree in law, whilst a realisation that it wasn't a career I wanted, developed an interest in reading some legislation and trying to see what they writers meant when they wrote it. I enjoy partiuclarly what is going on in America, it is exciting times for people interested in online gaming as it will determine the future, when America is legalized and they make changes most people, as per usual, will follow suit. I want to be a part of that and my working experience puts me in good stead for being able to help people out there. This is something I need to do.
There's not much to update on in my life. Things are going good and I have a great bunch of close friends. I'm working pretty hard putting in 16-18 hour days at least once a week which is a lot on top of 4 11 hour days. There's times I love it, and times I hate it, but it is what it is and I'm pretty happy.
I;ll do another update soon
Anyway I realised a while back that my goal, dream, aim, whatever you want to call it, is to get to America, to live there and to grow there. People often ask me why, and I kind of can't explain it but I'll give it a try.
Life is complicated, that won't change wherever you live, but there will be different complications. My time in America was magical, the truth is I loved going in to work, I loved being where I was, but most of all I loved the people. In the UK if someone smiles at you or wishes you a good day we think they are a freak. People seem to believe that if people do anything nice they must have an ulterior motive. Since Jan last year, following my time in America, I decided to do one good deed a day, or one thing that puts someone else first. They don't need to know it was me, I don't go around looking for things to do, but there are numerous opportunities we get every day that use to be seen as common curteousy. I'm glad to say that to this day I have achieved it every day. It is awesome, the feeling you get after is such a buzz and at the end of the day as your settling down to sleep you can think back to it with a smile on your face. You see no matter how shit a day you've had, it's one where hopefully you have had a positive effect on somebody else's life... so it can't of been that shit.
This isn't something I can say I learnt in America, but it's something that I realised I needed to change in myself. The weather in Cali was so glorious and I made some of the best friends ever. I love Baseball and American football, I love the process behind it, that people play at school/ college and enter a draft where teams bid for them. It's perfect to allow for the competitive nature in the leagues and the fan support is an experience everyone has to have.
Another reason is my interests, where I see my working career go. I love the online gaming industry and the people in it, particularly poker. I am blessed to have some of the contacts I do, and to have worked in online gaming in 3 different countries at such a young age. My degree in law, whilst a realisation that it wasn't a career I wanted, developed an interest in reading some legislation and trying to see what they writers meant when they wrote it. I enjoy partiuclarly what is going on in America, it is exciting times for people interested in online gaming as it will determine the future, when America is legalized and they make changes most people, as per usual, will follow suit. I want to be a part of that and my working experience puts me in good stead for being able to help people out there. This is something I need to do.
There's not much to update on in my life. Things are going good and I have a great bunch of close friends. I'm working pretty hard putting in 16-18 hour days at least once a week which is a lot on top of 4 11 hour days. There's times I love it, and times I hate it, but it is what it is and I'm pretty happy.
I;ll do another update soon
Friday 17 February 2012
Adventure's open your eyes
Wow, my life is so mental, I have had, what I must admit, is one of the best weeks in a long long time. I guess logically I should be starting from last Friday
To set the scene most of the time I am a hermit on Saurdays until 4pm following a late friday night. On friday my friend Kristy arrived from America with 2 of her friends along for the ride. So I left work and shot down to Aldgate East to meet them - one hell of a mission from Hemel via Edgware. Anyhoo I got there and they were all shattered but were game to find a bar with music.... good luck in London.
THe obvious decision was to venture down Brick Lane - unsurprisingly we were approached by 20 different Indian restaurants trying to coax us in but we escaped un-curryfied. We got to Vibe Bar and decided that 9pm was far too early for Vibe so kept walking. It's super difficult when you have people from America over, you are a Londoner, they expect you know your city, and you realise you know nothing about East London!! Anyway afterwalking the length of brick lane we jumped on an overground train to go back to past Aldgate East station and on to Tower Hill - if in doubt go to the pomellers rest, a hevenly spoons with drinks galore (but no music - and a place that I've found myself being asked to leave for talking too loud far too often).
Before we got to the Pommellers we stopped by and enjoyed the view of the Tower of London, it was whilst looking that we saw the most incredible playground. A slide that doesn't slide wasn;t enough to ruin it, the jump on merry go round, the amazing bouncy thing that I can;t describe, all I know was I was drunk before I'd drunk. Next up was the incredible walk over Tower Bridge. You know sometimes I really take where I live for granted and it's only by being with people that have never seen it before that you truly appreciate it, AMAZING. More of that to come later :)
On to the Pomeller: that's where the night really started, introducing the yanks to Koppabergs joy, the bottle of happiness that wakes you up! After a couple of hours, and far too many Jagerbombs we were on the move - not before Kristy had an interaction with a Cockney Lass. The Cockney Lass was insiting on calling a cab for us, and when we politely said no its fine its quicker if we jump in a black cab she turned on us rapidly! Lovely drunk cockney girls, curteous and classy.
Anyway we hopped in to the cab and I was sitting on the fold down chair facing back. Ali - Kristy's mate who it has to be said is awesome, decided she wanted to sit inmy seat so pulled me out of it and tried to sit down, not realising it was a fold down chair and ending up on the floor of a moving taxi. Hilarious! The cab took us to Vibe bar where it was £5 a head, and by now it was midnight. Thanks to their amazing american charm Kristy, Ali and Rachel got all 4 of us in for £10! Vibe bar has got to be one of the most unique experiences in London. Trance, house, dance, heaven in what seems like a dissused warehouse, worn down building. The music system sucks, the DJ couldn't mix to save his life, but the tunes and atmosphere made it incredible. If only the drinks weren't bank breaking.
Following Vibe Bar we made a trip back to the hotel via the off licence where we haggled our way to cheap booze. After a few hours in their hotel the night was done. Saturday was an early start and meeting up at 1pm at the Pomeller Rest.
After a drink or two in the Pomellers, and meeting up with Rachel's friend (by the way Rachel is so brilliant and amazing to talk to) Simon we walked to St Paul's Cathedral.... not before stopping off in All Bar One for a 3pm shot.... as you do. St Paul's cathedral use to be free, I don't get it, why is it now £20. Sigh we popped in, refused to pay, Kristy took some pictures and on we went.
Damn this is going to be long.... I'm going to continue for a bit until their is a cliff hanger.
Ok so we headed to Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese... the oldest bar in London, which is an incredible place. Damn that bar is older then America which is ridiculous. Kristy's photos are awesome and filled with ghostly shapes.... hmmm. Ok so there we met some Aussies on a pub crawl, the monopoly pub crawl, and Rachel and Ali wanted to follow (by now Simon had left). So we went in to a bar with them, with them clearly signalling that they didn't want us there. It was in the gents that I overheard them just ripping in to the girls. TO be fair some of the things they were saying were funny, but these girls were my Americans, nobody insults my americans except me!!! So that's where it kind of kicked off.... 4 aussies v me with 7 more upstairs.... why do I do these things..................................................
To set the scene most of the time I am a hermit on Saurdays until 4pm following a late friday night. On friday my friend Kristy arrived from America with 2 of her friends along for the ride. So I left work and shot down to Aldgate East to meet them - one hell of a mission from Hemel via Edgware. Anyhoo I got there and they were all shattered but were game to find a bar with music.... good luck in London.
THe obvious decision was to venture down Brick Lane - unsurprisingly we were approached by 20 different Indian restaurants trying to coax us in but we escaped un-curryfied. We got to Vibe Bar and decided that 9pm was far too early for Vibe so kept walking. It's super difficult when you have people from America over, you are a Londoner, they expect you know your city, and you realise you know nothing about East London!! Anyway afterwalking the length of brick lane we jumped on an overground train to go back to past Aldgate East station and on to Tower Hill - if in doubt go to the pomellers rest, a hevenly spoons with drinks galore (but no music - and a place that I've found myself being asked to leave for talking too loud far too often).
Before we got to the Pommellers we stopped by and enjoyed the view of the Tower of London, it was whilst looking that we saw the most incredible playground. A slide that doesn't slide wasn;t enough to ruin it, the jump on merry go round, the amazing bouncy thing that I can;t describe, all I know was I was drunk before I'd drunk. Next up was the incredible walk over Tower Bridge. You know sometimes I really take where I live for granted and it's only by being with people that have never seen it before that you truly appreciate it, AMAZING. More of that to come later :)
On to the Pomeller: that's where the night really started, introducing the yanks to Koppabergs joy, the bottle of happiness that wakes you up! After a couple of hours, and far too many Jagerbombs we were on the move - not before Kristy had an interaction with a Cockney Lass. The Cockney Lass was insiting on calling a cab for us, and when we politely said no its fine its quicker if we jump in a black cab she turned on us rapidly! Lovely drunk cockney girls, curteous and classy.
Anyway we hopped in to the cab and I was sitting on the fold down chair facing back. Ali - Kristy's mate who it has to be said is awesome, decided she wanted to sit inmy seat so pulled me out of it and tried to sit down, not realising it was a fold down chair and ending up on the floor of a moving taxi. Hilarious! The cab took us to Vibe bar where it was £5 a head, and by now it was midnight. Thanks to their amazing american charm Kristy, Ali and Rachel got all 4 of us in for £10! Vibe bar has got to be one of the most unique experiences in London. Trance, house, dance, heaven in what seems like a dissused warehouse, worn down building. The music system sucks, the DJ couldn't mix to save his life, but the tunes and atmosphere made it incredible. If only the drinks weren't bank breaking.
Following Vibe Bar we made a trip back to the hotel via the off licence where we haggled our way to cheap booze. After a few hours in their hotel the night was done. Saturday was an early start and meeting up at 1pm at the Pomeller Rest.
After a drink or two in the Pomellers, and meeting up with Rachel's friend (by the way Rachel is so brilliant and amazing to talk to) Simon we walked to St Paul's Cathedral.... not before stopping off in All Bar One for a 3pm shot.... as you do. St Paul's cathedral use to be free, I don't get it, why is it now £20. Sigh we popped in, refused to pay, Kristy took some pictures and on we went.
Damn this is going to be long.... I'm going to continue for a bit until their is a cliff hanger.
Ok so we headed to Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese... the oldest bar in London, which is an incredible place. Damn that bar is older then America which is ridiculous. Kristy's photos are awesome and filled with ghostly shapes.... hmmm. Ok so there we met some Aussies on a pub crawl, the monopoly pub crawl, and Rachel and Ali wanted to follow (by now Simon had left). So we went in to a bar with them, with them clearly signalling that they didn't want us there. It was in the gents that I overheard them just ripping in to the girls. TO be fair some of the things they were saying were funny, but these girls were my Americans, nobody insults my americans except me!!! So that's where it kind of kicked off.... 4 aussies v me with 7 more upstairs.... why do I do these things..................................................
Thursday 26 January 2012
Underworld.... underwhelming
SPOILER, THIS IS A HUGE SPOILER POST SO SORRY BUT I HAVE WARNED YOU
-------------SPOILER----------------------SPOILER--------------SPOILER
Ok so I am just back from seeing the new Underworld and to be honest it was so bad.
First off why the hell was it in 3d, why are people doing 3d films just for the sake of making it 3d this is just ridiculous, why why why?
Next, Kate Beckinsales character at the start of the film jumps out a building, lands on a lorry from a 4 floor drop and lands on her side, unable to keep her balance. Cut to a later event and there she is jumping 20 odd floors/stories and lands on her feet perfectly.... like are you serious?
Right, so it turns out Kate Beckinsale had a child whilst she was "asleep" for 12 years, that I can almost understand because medically speaking people can have a child without being conscious... perhaps. Anyway I'll let that slide, HOWEVER, her 12 year old AT MAX, daughter has the advanced vocabulary, spouting phrases that are beyond the capability of a 20 year old, additionally she is completely aware of her abilities as a hybrid even thought there is continuous references to her not knowing how powerful she really is. SO supposedly she has been looked after for 12 years by some nurse, which is where she picked up the English language from, damn it must of been some super phd nurse for some of the stuff she was saying.
Now to one of the biggest errors. WHO THE FUCK is in charge of casting for this film and why the hell weren't they fired? Kate Beckinsale is stunning, absolutely perfect in every way, and of course adorably English in an American film. Kate Beckinsale and her hybrid lover supposedly created their daughter. Her hybrid loverbeing America, the film taking place in... America, and Kate Beckinsale being unconscious for the entire 12 year period her daughter has grown up and taught English by an American nurse... in America, yet somehow they decided to cast a girl with an English accent..... an American actres at that..... how the hell does that make sense? Don't get me wrong India Eisley is an incredible actresss and was one of the standout performances, but why was she doing an English accent. Also, she isn't 12, doesn't look 12 clearly, in fact she is 18 in real life, and asmentioned American, and pretty famous.
So let's get this right... they needed an actress to play a 12 year old girl daughter to an English woman and American man, born in America, raised by an American. I know what would be good, lets get an 18 year old American actress, and get her character to do an English accent....... Right ok great well done you geniuses.
Argh the film just tilts me it was so bad. I also don't get the end. This superstar lygra that "heals instantly" and has brutal strength gets his stomach ripped open and a grenade put in it, to which he heals over it, panics and explodes.... 10 seconds afterthe grenade is put inside him. I am expected to believe he wouldnt just rip his stomach open himself and throw the grenade out? Right yup ok whatever.
Seriously Kate Beckinsale in Lycra is the only good thing in this movie, well also her being nude for one scene was awesome too but the 3d did nothing for me, the movie made no sense, and unfortunately the worst part is they have left it open for another sequel.... great now I know what to avoid in 3 years!
-------------SPOILER----------------------SPOILER--------------SPOILER
Ok so I am just back from seeing the new Underworld and to be honest it was so bad.
First off why the hell was it in 3d, why are people doing 3d films just for the sake of making it 3d this is just ridiculous, why why why?
Next, Kate Beckinsales character at the start of the film jumps out a building, lands on a lorry from a 4 floor drop and lands on her side, unable to keep her balance. Cut to a later event and there she is jumping 20 odd floors/stories and lands on her feet perfectly.... like are you serious?
Right, so it turns out Kate Beckinsale had a child whilst she was "asleep" for 12 years, that I can almost understand because medically speaking people can have a child without being conscious... perhaps. Anyway I'll let that slide, HOWEVER, her 12 year old AT MAX, daughter has the advanced vocabulary, spouting phrases that are beyond the capability of a 20 year old, additionally she is completely aware of her abilities as a hybrid even thought there is continuous references to her not knowing how powerful she really is. SO supposedly she has been looked after for 12 years by some nurse, which is where she picked up the English language from, damn it must of been some super phd nurse for some of the stuff she was saying.
Now to one of the biggest errors. WHO THE FUCK is in charge of casting for this film and why the hell weren't they fired? Kate Beckinsale is stunning, absolutely perfect in every way, and of course adorably English in an American film. Kate Beckinsale and her hybrid lover supposedly created their daughter. Her hybrid loverbeing America, the film taking place in... America, and Kate Beckinsale being unconscious for the entire 12 year period her daughter has grown up and taught English by an American nurse... in America, yet somehow they decided to cast a girl with an English accent..... an American actres at that..... how the hell does that make sense? Don't get me wrong India Eisley is an incredible actresss and was one of the standout performances, but why was she doing an English accent. Also, she isn't 12, doesn't look 12 clearly, in fact she is 18 in real life, and asmentioned American, and pretty famous.
So let's get this right... they needed an actress to play a 12 year old girl daughter to an English woman and American man, born in America, raised by an American. I know what would be good, lets get an 18 year old American actress, and get her character to do an English accent....... Right ok great well done you geniuses.
Argh the film just tilts me it was so bad. I also don't get the end. This superstar lygra that "heals instantly" and has brutal strength gets his stomach ripped open and a grenade put in it, to which he heals over it, panics and explodes.... 10 seconds afterthe grenade is put inside him. I am expected to believe he wouldnt just rip his stomach open himself and throw the grenade out? Right yup ok whatever.
Seriously Kate Beckinsale in Lycra is the only good thing in this movie, well also her being nude for one scene was awesome too but the 3d did nothing for me, the movie made no sense, and unfortunately the worst part is they have left it open for another sequel.... great now I know what to avoid in 3 years!
Wednesday 18 January 2012
Breaking Bad - Incredible show, or ridiculed with inconsistency in character writing
So let me just say this now, from the start. I think that at times this show is the greatest thing I've seen, and have regularly argued that character depth, clever plots and interesting stories make it, on occasions, better than the wire (Ok your either laughing now or shaking your head but there, I said it.) Well essentially the latest season, and in fact some of the season before, are just ridiculed with inconsistency. Without a doubt either the writers changed or they work shifts. It seems as if people are playing the game where someone writes a sentence and then passes the paper to the next person, who without looking at the things written before, writes the next. Ok that is extreem but it potentially ruined a fantastic show.
There are so many things I could point out, but thanfully someone I know, whose blog I follow regularly due to his incredible writing style and ability to take you in to his world with his captivating descriptions of his life in complete openess, has already covered this issue. Just a pre warning, if you haven't seen Breaking Bad season 4 finale, this is a spoiler.... SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!
Following on from this is his blog post - please take a look at his blog on www.pokerheadrush.com I know if you like reading my blogs you will like his because his openess and honesty was one of the reasons I decided to write myself.
"Why Breaking Bad Pisses Me Off
Posted by Alex Fitzgerald on December 14, 2011 · Leave a Comment
I finished Breaking Bad the other day. Yeah, I know, I’m a little behind, but I don’t get the kind of free time I wish I did. That and my internet connection is bad ass stable here…for poker, it really sucks at downloading things for some reason. Some websites I can download things decently fast but torrents are annoying.
The first six episodes of this season were painfully boring too. I’ll admit, I was into it for the last three episodes, and there were some scenes that were just mind blowingly cool.
SPOILER ALERT -
I’M GOING TO START SPOILING THINGS -
TURN YOUR EYES NOW IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN BREAKING BAD,
I HATE SPOILERS SO DON’T READ THIS BLOG IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY THIS SHOW.
Anyway…
Spoilers coming, like now.
The scene where Gus died, that was just such an intelligent move. He’d become such an unbreakable seeming that it was conceivable he could walk away from that explosion, that it went off incorrectly. I didn’t see what was coming when they panned left…just didn’t expect it at all. I really could have believed they wouldn’t get rid of him till the final season, but damn…was that good.
But at the same time that scene is like masturbating with a cast on your hand. Sure, you’re happy to finally get off, but the build-up left you with scars it was so poorly conceived.
I just can’t get over the retarded plot points in this show. I try as hard as I can to turn off my brain when I watch television, and just enjoy it, but there’s so many parts in this show that just scream, “a clown ass graduate of some piece of shit writing college thought he got the character down and wrote this crap.” Like if I was directing this series, if this was my baby, I would be throwing the fucking scripts these guys write back at them.
Gus was a killer, killer character. Giancarlo Esposito proved television can deliver blood curling performances . And yet…they screw up his character so much.
Okay, so the guy who has detail so good that no one can approach his house, that he has cameras everywhere, that he can somehow convince someone who killed his best friend to swallow a whole jug of poison upon their first meeting in 20 years (amiiiiiigo….soooorrry I killled him….sure I will drink this special potion you brought in….what’s that?….none of your men will drink it?…no problem…the great smart Cartel who apparently owns so much of Mexico we can get up into America…we are all going to drink something a former enemy brought to us upon their first visit…what is that?…you need to go to the restroom 20 minutes after digestion…no chance you’re vomiting this up). This badass who apparently runs everything…this guy dies THIS WAY?
He sends his man to look everywhere in the place. The guy clears it without poking his head out to see if anyone’s close to the window, but okay, I’ll buy that, they were heated.
But that brings up another point. If the guy’s bell is going to blow up the pipe bomb, why is Walter there? To get close to the debris? So there’s a chance he can get caught, and show they’re working together?
But okay, all of that aside, Gus and his aid/henchman whatever walk in there. They wheel around the old Cartel remember, if I remember correctly. He stares at him, and even kneels down to get a better look at him.
At no point does Gus, drug dealing superman, sociopath, so brilliant he runs a gazillion companies, at no point does this guy with a 180 fucking IQ go WOW THAT IS A BIG FUCKING PIPE BOMB STRAPPED TO THIS WHEELCHAIR. It’s not like it was small. It looked like if you tilted your head to the side for a second you would have seen it. And they were wheeling the chair around and walking around it and everything.
I mean, wouldn’t that be surveillance part number one, to check under the chair? An old enemy goes to the DEA after his whole family is killed, and then prepares a suicide bombing for when his torturer arrives…yeah…that sounds kind of logical. What does he have to live for? What other way could he hurt him but a bomb? The guy can’t really grab a gun. Wait, is there anyone on the loose right now I have a beef with who knows anything about explosives?
HE MUST suspect some kind of an explosion, considering the scene where he’s walking to his car in the hospital parking garage…and he gets a sixth sense…so he (wtf) walks to the edge of the parking garage where any sniper could hit him? Okay, maybe Walt’s not that good, couldn’t procur that rifle in a short time, or an assassin to do it, but if he left his car in the garage and didn’t take basic steps to prevent himself from being shot by sniper rounds, he must suspect a bomb, and a bomb only.
And then his old enemy, who has never had interest in squeeling, even on his enemies when he’s had the chance, signs up to go to the DEA? You plan a meeting that day with him, with supervision so bad you don’t check the backyard, or what’s under the wheelchair?
And how the hell is his security so good that they just happen to be watching this old crippled man on the day he decides to take a trip to the DEA. Okay, maybe someone called him from the hospital, but then does he really have no one in the DEA? This guy who knows everything about every one of his employees, he doesn’t have one guy who can tell them the old cartel told them nothing.
While entertaining, wasn’t that a stupid move, to tell the DEA to suck your dick? Those cops will talk to other people, who likely Gus could talk to. Not one guy working the coffee machine can tell this titan of the drug trade “the guy came in and said nothing.” Wouldn’t that lead him to believe it was a trap?
It’s just so obvious this is written by a number of people. The acting is incredibly good that it saves the wavering writing from time to time, but there’s just such gross differences in the characters from scene to scene.
Like Skylar. One moment she’s so scared about lying to her sister and DEA brother-in-law about the car wash that she writes a script, and she’s so unnatural at REHEARSING a lie that she practically stutters through phrases like “its a dooozy!” and is choking on each word like it will get her killed. Then the next minute, to save Ted’s business, she’s the best dumb ho in the world? She has on-point answers to every question the IRS grills her with, and is just a ridiculously good character actor all of the sudden? She shows no fear about putting herself in the line of fire like that?
Jesse, who has a Mexican girlfriend, who has Mexican friends, who has lived in Arizona for a long time, at one point deep in the series states, “how am I going to read anything there when the instructions are in Mexican?” Really, he doesn’t know its called Spanish?
I was hoping this season wouldn’t have more of this crap, because I almost died laughing at Hank running away from the RV stand off in the season before that. The guy has been searching for this meth lab for months and months, and then gets a call that his wife is in an accident. At no point does he ask for more details, or to be redirected to someone, because, you know, he’s a fucking cop and he probably can speak to someone I imagine if his wife has been in an accident, hell he might know somebody overseeing the traffic cop who worked the case. But aside from that, he doesn’t think to call his wife till when he’s at the hospital? Just to, you know, see if he couldn’t be the person with the world’s worst timing?
It’s just shoddy writing. Which is annoying, because this series had/has so much potential. I’m falling asleep during this show and not paying attention at all. I miss plot points all the time and frequently don’t figure out anything in a show. I shouldn’t be bothered this much, I know, but I hate being taken out of a show like that.
I really enjoy this show, and want to see Season 5, but…god, Gus was such a good character. I wanted a greater build-up and payoff. I wanted there to be more narrow escapes than, “hey I’m ready for sniper fire” and a more elaborate assassination then “we forgot to check the backyard or if the one button this guy could press is hooked up to an explosive.”""""
Ok so there are a lot of things I agree with here Skyler's character and Giancarlo Esposito incredible acting ability, and even agree that occasionally I would look away from the screen and suddenly have no idea of what was going on, but having then gone back through those episodes before watching the next it is clear that there are so many elements of genius in the story, Gus' death and Walt's ability to manipulate and premeditate everything leading up to it to name just one. To clear it up though, I didn't think Walt was at the Nursing home when the explosion went off, there were too many cars hence why he was listening to the radio to hear confirmation on the news that shit had most certainly hit the fan, but anyhoo Alex's blog post above is genius.
To have a direct link to his blogs, and this one in particular take a look at http://www.pokerheadrush.com/2011/12/14/why-breaking-bad-pisses-me-off/ and look around the site, it's not often you get a poker pro giving readers more substance then "lost a flip for 20k FML"!
There are so many things I could point out, but thanfully someone I know, whose blog I follow regularly due to his incredible writing style and ability to take you in to his world with his captivating descriptions of his life in complete openess, has already covered this issue. Just a pre warning, if you haven't seen Breaking Bad season 4 finale, this is a spoiler.... SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!
Following on from this is his blog post - please take a look at his blog on www.pokerheadrush.com I know if you like reading my blogs you will like his because his openess and honesty was one of the reasons I decided to write myself.
"Why Breaking Bad Pisses Me Off
Posted by Alex Fitzgerald on December 14, 2011 · Leave a Comment
I finished Breaking Bad the other day. Yeah, I know, I’m a little behind, but I don’t get the kind of free time I wish I did. That and my internet connection is bad ass stable here…for poker, it really sucks at downloading things for some reason. Some websites I can download things decently fast but torrents are annoying.
The first six episodes of this season were painfully boring too. I’ll admit, I was into it for the last three episodes, and there were some scenes that were just mind blowingly cool.
SPOILER ALERT -
I’M GOING TO START SPOILING THINGS -
TURN YOUR EYES NOW IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN BREAKING BAD,
I HATE SPOILERS SO DON’T READ THIS BLOG IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY THIS SHOW.
Anyway…
Spoilers coming, like now.
The scene where Gus died, that was just such an intelligent move. He’d become such an unbreakable seeming that it was conceivable he could walk away from that explosion, that it went off incorrectly. I didn’t see what was coming when they panned left…just didn’t expect it at all. I really could have believed they wouldn’t get rid of him till the final season, but damn…was that good.
But at the same time that scene is like masturbating with a cast on your hand. Sure, you’re happy to finally get off, but the build-up left you with scars it was so poorly conceived.
I just can’t get over the retarded plot points in this show. I try as hard as I can to turn off my brain when I watch television, and just enjoy it, but there’s so many parts in this show that just scream, “a clown ass graduate of some piece of shit writing college thought he got the character down and wrote this crap.” Like if I was directing this series, if this was my baby, I would be throwing the fucking scripts these guys write back at them.
Gus was a killer, killer character. Giancarlo Esposito proved television can deliver blood curling performances . And yet…they screw up his character so much.
Okay, so the guy who has detail so good that no one can approach his house, that he has cameras everywhere, that he can somehow convince someone who killed his best friend to swallow a whole jug of poison upon their first meeting in 20 years (amiiiiiigo….soooorrry I killled him….sure I will drink this special potion you brought in….what’s that?….none of your men will drink it?…no problem…the great smart Cartel who apparently owns so much of Mexico we can get up into America…we are all going to drink something a former enemy brought to us upon their first visit…what is that?…you need to go to the restroom 20 minutes after digestion…no chance you’re vomiting this up). This badass who apparently runs everything…this guy dies THIS WAY?
He sends his man to look everywhere in the place. The guy clears it without poking his head out to see if anyone’s close to the window, but okay, I’ll buy that, they were heated.
But that brings up another point. If the guy’s bell is going to blow up the pipe bomb, why is Walter there? To get close to the debris? So there’s a chance he can get caught, and show they’re working together?
But okay, all of that aside, Gus and his aid/henchman whatever walk in there. They wheel around the old Cartel remember, if I remember correctly. He stares at him, and even kneels down to get a better look at him.
At no point does Gus, drug dealing superman, sociopath, so brilliant he runs a gazillion companies, at no point does this guy with a 180 fucking IQ go WOW THAT IS A BIG FUCKING PIPE BOMB STRAPPED TO THIS WHEELCHAIR. It’s not like it was small. It looked like if you tilted your head to the side for a second you would have seen it. And they were wheeling the chair around and walking around it and everything.
I mean, wouldn’t that be surveillance part number one, to check under the chair? An old enemy goes to the DEA after his whole family is killed, and then prepares a suicide bombing for when his torturer arrives…yeah…that sounds kind of logical. What does he have to live for? What other way could he hurt him but a bomb? The guy can’t really grab a gun. Wait, is there anyone on the loose right now I have a beef with who knows anything about explosives?
HE MUST suspect some kind of an explosion, considering the scene where he’s walking to his car in the hospital parking garage…and he gets a sixth sense…so he (wtf) walks to the edge of the parking garage where any sniper could hit him? Okay, maybe Walt’s not that good, couldn’t procur that rifle in a short time, or an assassin to do it, but if he left his car in the garage and didn’t take basic steps to prevent himself from being shot by sniper rounds, he must suspect a bomb, and a bomb only.
And then his old enemy, who has never had interest in squeeling, even on his enemies when he’s had the chance, signs up to go to the DEA? You plan a meeting that day with him, with supervision so bad you don’t check the backyard, or what’s under the wheelchair?
And how the hell is his security so good that they just happen to be watching this old crippled man on the day he decides to take a trip to the DEA. Okay, maybe someone called him from the hospital, but then does he really have no one in the DEA? This guy who knows everything about every one of his employees, he doesn’t have one guy who can tell them the old cartel told them nothing.
While entertaining, wasn’t that a stupid move, to tell the DEA to suck your dick? Those cops will talk to other people, who likely Gus could talk to. Not one guy working the coffee machine can tell this titan of the drug trade “the guy came in and said nothing.” Wouldn’t that lead him to believe it was a trap?
It’s just so obvious this is written by a number of people. The acting is incredibly good that it saves the wavering writing from time to time, but there’s just such gross differences in the characters from scene to scene.
Like Skylar. One moment she’s so scared about lying to her sister and DEA brother-in-law about the car wash that she writes a script, and she’s so unnatural at REHEARSING a lie that she practically stutters through phrases like “its a dooozy!” and is choking on each word like it will get her killed. Then the next minute, to save Ted’s business, she’s the best dumb ho in the world? She has on-point answers to every question the IRS grills her with, and is just a ridiculously good character actor all of the sudden? She shows no fear about putting herself in the line of fire like that?
Jesse, who has a Mexican girlfriend, who has Mexican friends, who has lived in Arizona for a long time, at one point deep in the series states, “how am I going to read anything there when the instructions are in Mexican?” Really, he doesn’t know its called Spanish?
I was hoping this season wouldn’t have more of this crap, because I almost died laughing at Hank running away from the RV stand off in the season before that. The guy has been searching for this meth lab for months and months, and then gets a call that his wife is in an accident. At no point does he ask for more details, or to be redirected to someone, because, you know, he’s a fucking cop and he probably can speak to someone I imagine if his wife has been in an accident, hell he might know somebody overseeing the traffic cop who worked the case. But aside from that, he doesn’t think to call his wife till when he’s at the hospital? Just to, you know, see if he couldn’t be the person with the world’s worst timing?
It’s just shoddy writing. Which is annoying, because this series had/has so much potential. I’m falling asleep during this show and not paying attention at all. I miss plot points all the time and frequently don’t figure out anything in a show. I shouldn’t be bothered this much, I know, but I hate being taken out of a show like that.
I really enjoy this show, and want to see Season 5, but…god, Gus was such a good character. I wanted a greater build-up and payoff. I wanted there to be more narrow escapes than, “hey I’m ready for sniper fire” and a more elaborate assassination then “we forgot to check the backyard or if the one button this guy could press is hooked up to an explosive.”""""
Ok so there are a lot of things I agree with here Skyler's character and Giancarlo Esposito incredible acting ability, and even agree that occasionally I would look away from the screen and suddenly have no idea of what was going on, but having then gone back through those episodes before watching the next it is clear that there are so many elements of genius in the story, Gus' death and Walt's ability to manipulate and premeditate everything leading up to it to name just one. To clear it up though, I didn't think Walt was at the Nursing home when the explosion went off, there were too many cars hence why he was listening to the radio to hear confirmation on the news that shit had most certainly hit the fan, but anyhoo Alex's blog post above is genius.
To have a direct link to his blogs, and this one in particular take a look at http://www.pokerheadrush.com/2011/12/14/why-breaking-bad-pisses-me-off/ and look around the site, it's not often you get a poker pro giving readers more substance then "lost a flip for 20k FML"!
Monday 16 January 2012
Sort out your head!
Seriously I can't believe I've gone back to this, I've become hot headed again. I guess things aren't going the way I wantand instead of looking at new routes I've allowed myself to start blaming the world, claiming it's unfair. Damn I didn't want to be like this but at least I've realised before it is too late and before I upset someone.
There's a number of things that have happened, or haven't. There is nothing as bad as having someone fall out of love with you, it hurts. Working your arse off and not having it recognised is painful too. I work 11+ hour days most of the time and it means I get home tired, moody, and emotional. This job has such an effect on your emotional state and it's tough, it's good and I love the workplace but it is tough and you need to be thick skinned, something I was good at but recent events have made me more emotional then usual and it sucks big time. I need to get my head back into it all, stop allowing things effect me the way they do, but it is hard.
I allowed it to have an impact on me in a work football game today, I had a bad tackle on me, nothing given, and instead of getting revenge by upping my game it went to my head and I wanted revenge. How does that make sense? Somebody accidentally takes you out so you deliberately try and take them out, they are a mate but all of a sudden it doesn't matter it's like I want to take this situation and turn it around, but I definitely did it in the wrong manner. Luckily no fouls happened from me, but I did receive a push to the head, a thing that the old, lairy, aggresive 15 year old me would of reacted to by throwing a punch, I'm glad that is under control at least.
I really like writing this all down, I like having a way of getting it all out. Most of the time I kind of wish nobody read this, but at the same time I clearly want them too. I want people to be there for me, take me out for a beer... nobody has done that since IT ended and that really sucks. I wish I was the script album lol. Don't get me wrong my friends are there and it is my fault because they ask how I feel about it all and I say, yeah fine, I don't like bringing other people down or putting my issues on to them, that's not my job.
I guess Bill Hicks really summed up this world, and I think the best way to end this post. Hopefully the next one will be positive as per the new year resolutions.
"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we … kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace."
There's a number of things that have happened, or haven't. There is nothing as bad as having someone fall out of love with you, it hurts. Working your arse off and not having it recognised is painful too. I work 11+ hour days most of the time and it means I get home tired, moody, and emotional. This job has such an effect on your emotional state and it's tough, it's good and I love the workplace but it is tough and you need to be thick skinned, something I was good at but recent events have made me more emotional then usual and it sucks big time. I need to get my head back into it all, stop allowing things effect me the way they do, but it is hard.
I allowed it to have an impact on me in a work football game today, I had a bad tackle on me, nothing given, and instead of getting revenge by upping my game it went to my head and I wanted revenge. How does that make sense? Somebody accidentally takes you out so you deliberately try and take them out, they are a mate but all of a sudden it doesn't matter it's like I want to take this situation and turn it around, but I definitely did it in the wrong manner. Luckily no fouls happened from me, but I did receive a push to the head, a thing that the old, lairy, aggresive 15 year old me would of reacted to by throwing a punch, I'm glad that is under control at least.
I really like writing this all down, I like having a way of getting it all out. Most of the time I kind of wish nobody read this, but at the same time I clearly want them too. I want people to be there for me, take me out for a beer... nobody has done that since IT ended and that really sucks. I wish I was the script album lol. Don't get me wrong my friends are there and it is my fault because they ask how I feel about it all and I say, yeah fine, I don't like bringing other people down or putting my issues on to them, that's not my job.
I guess Bill Hicks really summed up this world, and I think the best way to end this post. Hopefully the next one will be positive as per the new year resolutions.
"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we … kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace."
Sunday 8 January 2012
I love american football. I can;t wait to be living there so that the games are on at a normal time and not thisgod forsaken time. Great starts now, ends 12 if I'm lucky.
Anyway I was going to blog about Friday night but dont really know how to phrase it all. The only way I can put this is this, I meant someone that made it feel like evrything that happened was a tv program and not real. His actions were ridiculous, they don't happen in the real world, people aren't that messed up in the mind. Everything about it is unexplainable, yet if I saw it in a american sitcom it would be hilarious and make perfect sense. The only way I could react to everything was to let it happen, it was so funny and a crazy experience.
ANyway like I said it can't be explained. Rest of the weekend was chilled out, I'm looking forward to next weekend, not much going on but it should be good nevertheless.
Anyway I was going to blog about Friday night but dont really know how to phrase it all. The only way I can put this is this, I meant someone that made it feel like evrything that happened was a tv program and not real. His actions were ridiculous, they don't happen in the real world, people aren't that messed up in the mind. Everything about it is unexplainable, yet if I saw it in a american sitcom it would be hilarious and make perfect sense. The only way I could react to everything was to let it happen, it was so funny and a crazy experience.
ANyway like I said it can't be explained. Rest of the weekend was chilled out, I'm looking forward to next weekend, not much going on but it should be good nevertheless.
Wednesday 4 January 2012
I dunno this was fun to type
Give me that towel, that bed sheet, that t-shirt, those clothes.
GIve me that shoelace, that wooly hat, that scarf, those robes.
Just give me something, something thats clean, something that's white
I need to wave it around if its white, if its colourful il wear it.
It's help cover up the real me, become someone else, become hidden, become a disguise.
No fuck it, take back all those items, im me, im real, im alive.
Fuck it, not enough time, not enough strength, can't be bothered to try.
Or maybe im strong enough, im moving on, the past has gone.
I've given my all, I'm looking ahead, I'm saying fuck it.
Losing touch of myself, losing touch with my friends, whys it been so damn long?
Is this my job, my life, my future, my world?
It doesn't have to be, don't lose touch of my goals.
Focus on me, the future, my passion, my love.
The past is gone, its left us behind, but we made it.
The future is ours now, the pasts what it is, the present is enough.
GIve me that shoelace, that wooly hat, that scarf, those robes.
Just give me something, something thats clean, something that's white
I need to wave it around if its white, if its colourful il wear it.
It's help cover up the real me, become someone else, become hidden, become a disguise.
No fuck it, take back all those items, im me, im real, im alive.
Fuck it, not enough time, not enough strength, can't be bothered to try.
Or maybe im strong enough, im moving on, the past has gone.
I've given my all, I'm looking ahead, I'm saying fuck it.
Losing touch of myself, losing touch with my friends, whys it been so damn long?
Is this my job, my life, my future, my world?
It doesn't have to be, don't lose touch of my goals.
Focus on me, the future, my passion, my love.
The past is gone, its left us behind, but we made it.
The future is ours now, the pasts what it is, the present is enough.
Tuesday 3 January 2012
Back to work but needing health!
So it was back to work today, which meant an early night yesterday right? Wrong! After getting in bed at 9pm I found myself restless, coughing, sneezing, with a runny nose and constantly going from being boiling hot to freezing cold. Yes that is right I have a cold, but not just any old cold.... the dreaded man flu :p Ok exageration but the night was spent getting up to open a window, lying down, getting up to get water, lying down, getting up to shut the window, lying down, getting up to go to the toilet thanks to the water that I'd drunk, lying down, and so on. Fan blooming tastic. Anyway the last time I looked at my phone before falling asleep it read 4:35 am, 7 and a half hours after I'd first got in to bed. See this is the problem with being ill, it makes you miserable and you swear that if you can be better you will be so so happy and you will never take being healthy for granted again, you will do anything just please let me be better. I'm almost at that stage, you see I don't do being ill, I can't just lie in bed that is not my style at all. I don't like taking medication because your body is meant to fight itself, that way you stand a better chance of being immune, or better tolerant to it. Well I have had to cave in because I need to be able to talk for work so let's hope that this works and I'll deal with it coming back when it does, but I'll try and eat more fruit.
In March I've decided to run 5miles with work for charity. 5 miles isn't that far if we are honest, and I've been told 40 minutes would be very good, so I need to beat that by some way, this month and next month I will aim to jog 5 km at least 4 times a week and want my time to be under 23 minutes by my birthday. In order to do so I need to get healthy soon, and probably get my back sorted out, finally I need to make sure I am eating healthly and not drinking much alcohol or fizzy drinks.
Finally it is amazing how she can still make my day from 5000 miles away, just by sending a text saying she hopes it reaches me and that I had a good new year. It was so nice to read that and nice to hear certain words.
Anyway this was a brief blog a quick daily update and a nice end to the day for me.
In March I've decided to run 5miles with work for charity. 5 miles isn't that far if we are honest, and I've been told 40 minutes would be very good, so I need to beat that by some way, this month and next month I will aim to jog 5 km at least 4 times a week and want my time to be under 23 minutes by my birthday. In order to do so I need to get healthy soon, and probably get my back sorted out, finally I need to make sure I am eating healthly and not drinking much alcohol or fizzy drinks.
Finally it is amazing how she can still make my day from 5000 miles away, just by sending a text saying she hopes it reaches me and that I had a good new year. It was so nice to read that and nice to hear certain words.
Anyway this was a brief blog a quick daily update and a nice end to the day for me.
Monday 2 January 2012
This is crazy, being off work and having this free time all I want to do is write. I've had a few ideas for a book or movie that I want to get started on and I've written a fair bit so maybe I'll focus on that more.
It's been incredible, recently I have had more people viewing my blog and telling me in person they admire my honesty and the fact I write what I feel. The thing is, nothing I write is ever written to hurt anyone and I try to make sure I don't but if anybody does read something I write and is offended then I am sorry you are offended but not sorry I wrote it as I want to stay true to myself by writing my thoughts and emotions. It means that on days you will see a really positive post, others a sad version but writing just puts my mind at ease and me at peace.
This break has been required, it has been so pleasant and given me time to think, and be me rather than a robot. My job is tough, it is heavily commission based and I have had a change in managers and approach which I had to adapt to only for it to change back after his departure. The long hours and the stress often means that in evenings I don't want to talk to anyone because I want my conversations to be good and happy however I still enjoy interaction with people. As I've said in previous posts I have direction with my life, well maybe not so much my life but certainly the next year or so.
Today is going to be interesting, it was nice picking my sister up to get her car and having a drink, we don't talk much anymore and that is massively down to me. She is always inviting me for drinks with her and her friends, I don't do that back for two reasons, firstly there hasn't been much going out recently, secondly I am super protective of her and while it might not make sense I don't like to have her around my friends when they are drunk in case someone says something I don't like, or someone we don't know does either. Nevertheless a quiet drink is something I want to do more with her this year.
The rest of the day is pretty much planned. Shortly I will be going to meet one of the most bubbly, happy people I have ever been blessed to know at Kings Cross. She was my girlfriends roomate in America and she is coming to England to study so I'm sure she will be over excited. It will be fun but I'm not feeling too great today, severe lack of sleep caused by new years, and watching NFL yesterday has made me fall victim to a cold of sorts with a lack of my voice. I need it back for tomorrow so in honesty I am hoping to spend an hour or so with her and then shoot home for some warm ribena and an early night! I'm hardcore I know!!
Tomorrow it is back to work, back to reality. I feel prepared and positive about work and what I can achieve over the next quarter. It's time to step up and impress and I kind of can't wait. It will be good to see the faces of people I spend 60 hours a week with so yeah it should be good.
Well this blog hasn't been as crazy as others but I wanted to write. Another thing in the pipeline this year is my business, my company, lets get it launched this year it willbe fun and exciting I just need to start have conversations with the investors again.
Have a good time back at work all.
It's been incredible, recently I have had more people viewing my blog and telling me in person they admire my honesty and the fact I write what I feel. The thing is, nothing I write is ever written to hurt anyone and I try to make sure I don't but if anybody does read something I write and is offended then I am sorry you are offended but not sorry I wrote it as I want to stay true to myself by writing my thoughts and emotions. It means that on days you will see a really positive post, others a sad version but writing just puts my mind at ease and me at peace.
This break has been required, it has been so pleasant and given me time to think, and be me rather than a robot. My job is tough, it is heavily commission based and I have had a change in managers and approach which I had to adapt to only for it to change back after his departure. The long hours and the stress often means that in evenings I don't want to talk to anyone because I want my conversations to be good and happy however I still enjoy interaction with people. As I've said in previous posts I have direction with my life, well maybe not so much my life but certainly the next year or so.
Today is going to be interesting, it was nice picking my sister up to get her car and having a drink, we don't talk much anymore and that is massively down to me. She is always inviting me for drinks with her and her friends, I don't do that back for two reasons, firstly there hasn't been much going out recently, secondly I am super protective of her and while it might not make sense I don't like to have her around my friends when they are drunk in case someone says something I don't like, or someone we don't know does either. Nevertheless a quiet drink is something I want to do more with her this year.
The rest of the day is pretty much planned. Shortly I will be going to meet one of the most bubbly, happy people I have ever been blessed to know at Kings Cross. She was my girlfriends roomate in America and she is coming to England to study so I'm sure she will be over excited. It will be fun but I'm not feeling too great today, severe lack of sleep caused by new years, and watching NFL yesterday has made me fall victim to a cold of sorts with a lack of my voice. I need it back for tomorrow so in honesty I am hoping to spend an hour or so with her and then shoot home for some warm ribena and an early night! I'm hardcore I know!!
Tomorrow it is back to work, back to reality. I feel prepared and positive about work and what I can achieve over the next quarter. It's time to step up and impress and I kind of can't wait. It will be good to see the faces of people I spend 60 hours a week with so yeah it should be good.
Well this blog hasn't been as crazy as others but I wanted to write. Another thing in the pipeline this year is my business, my company, lets get it launched this year it willbe fun and exciting I just need to start have conversations with the investors again.
Have a good time back at work all.
Sunday 1 January 2012
Start as you mean to go on
Wow, what a New Years Eve, I had no idea or concept of time the whole night. I can now state that I had the opportunity to do a 38 second countdown, at one point turned in to everyone going THE 12th DONG, THE 12TH DONG!!! followed by a rushed 3,2,1, and disappointingly no Auld Lang Syne but ho hum such is life. What did happen was some epic cracker pulling followed by a tasty minature cigar and a glass of champagne, it sounds kind of classy and in all of our heads it was, but I'm sure to anyone looking from the outside in, it probably would of looked like feeding time at the lion enclosure.
Talking about Lions, I just want to spin into Tigers, you see I lost 50p to Tomek as I was convinced a female Tiger was not called a Tigeress. We backed this up by asking his cousin and her friends, to which the answers we go were "Lioness, Leopard" sigh kids today. Anyway turns out it is a Tigeress and I think that sucks, I want a new word for it.
Also, anyone reading this blog, can you name a single Female Professor in a Horror Movie? It's a subject of debate and I for one am stumped.
Ok so what else happened last night, well apart from my usual traight of outwitting somebody to the extent they stormed out in defeat over a disturbing debate on whether Women should pay for Tampons (yh I know, sigh how do I get involved in this shizzle?), I also got involved in a very good debate about whether the UK should be part of the EU, and from a legal background I for one am sick of the inconcistincies and lack of democracy yet see that leaving the EU could lead to the extreme situation of rationing again :s. I dunno but I guess my point is America, it's not amazing for law but they have Federal Law and State Law, obviously a Federal Law can make states stop doing certain things, but some of the laws made by the Federal Legislative bodies allow states to opt in or opt out. It works better than this EU bullshit so why not give it a try? I guess by the time any of this really affects me I will be living in America anyway :P
Who'd of thought an intelligent conversation would take place at 3am after drinking from 6pm? Ah well Tomek never ceases to amaze me.
So here's the thing, last night I enjoyed myself a lot, I spent it with family friends I have known my whole life, friends I have known the last 6 months, and new friends I had never met before. It was awesome and it made me realise that this is what I want this year. To stay in touch with friends from my past, keep close with recent friends, and make many more. What I do want to avoid though is getting home as the sun rises, never fun when I struggle to sleep if there is even a hint of light coming off my laptop, or the standby button on the TV let alone the morning ummmm Sun??? shining through.
SO here's to this year, and here is to the people that made last year so incredible, I could sit here and write something about each and every one of you but I won't. You all know how awesome you are, how much I love you, and how thankful I am to have you as part of my life... as a part of me. I can't promise we won't argue, I can't say it will always be fun, but what I do know is if we wrote down every event or chat over thenext year, the good times will outweight the bad 100 to 1. If you didn't argue with someone ever than it's a problem, if you argue too much, it's a problem, but any problem is resolveable as long as you hang on to the good times you have you will see that a true friend stands by, picks you up after punching you to the ground, and says the dumbest stuff when they have nothing to say just to make you laugh.
Thanks all and let's make this year count, this is for us, this is for now, this is for living.
Talking about Lions, I just want to spin into Tigers, you see I lost 50p to Tomek as I was convinced a female Tiger was not called a Tigeress. We backed this up by asking his cousin and her friends, to which the answers we go were "Lioness, Leopard" sigh kids today. Anyway turns out it is a Tigeress and I think that sucks, I want a new word for it.
Also, anyone reading this blog, can you name a single Female Professor in a Horror Movie? It's a subject of debate and I for one am stumped.
Ok so what else happened last night, well apart from my usual traight of outwitting somebody to the extent they stormed out in defeat over a disturbing debate on whether Women should pay for Tampons (yh I know, sigh how do I get involved in this shizzle?), I also got involved in a very good debate about whether the UK should be part of the EU, and from a legal background I for one am sick of the inconcistincies and lack of democracy yet see that leaving the EU could lead to the extreme situation of rationing again :s. I dunno but I guess my point is America, it's not amazing for law but they have Federal Law and State Law, obviously a Federal Law can make states stop doing certain things, but some of the laws made by the Federal Legislative bodies allow states to opt in or opt out. It works better than this EU bullshit so why not give it a try? I guess by the time any of this really affects me I will be living in America anyway :P
Who'd of thought an intelligent conversation would take place at 3am after drinking from 6pm? Ah well Tomek never ceases to amaze me.
So here's the thing, last night I enjoyed myself a lot, I spent it with family friends I have known my whole life, friends I have known the last 6 months, and new friends I had never met before. It was awesome and it made me realise that this is what I want this year. To stay in touch with friends from my past, keep close with recent friends, and make many more. What I do want to avoid though is getting home as the sun rises, never fun when I struggle to sleep if there is even a hint of light coming off my laptop, or the standby button on the TV let alone the morning ummmm Sun??? shining through.
SO here's to this year, and here is to the people that made last year so incredible, I could sit here and write something about each and every one of you but I won't. You all know how awesome you are, how much I love you, and how thankful I am to have you as part of my life... as a part of me. I can't promise we won't argue, I can't say it will always be fun, but what I do know is if we wrote down every event or chat over thenext year, the good times will outweight the bad 100 to 1. If you didn't argue with someone ever than it's a problem, if you argue too much, it's a problem, but any problem is resolveable as long as you hang on to the good times you have you will see that a true friend stands by, picks you up after punching you to the ground, and says the dumbest stuff when they have nothing to say just to make you laugh.
Thanks all and let's make this year count, this is for us, this is for now, this is for living.
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