Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. "Hal Borland"

So this is it, the end of the year and another fast approaching. It's the time we all come up with things we are going to do the next year, or not do, in order to make the year better and healthier.

The thing is, I'm alive, I'm happy and I have friends and family that I wouldn't ever change. From passing my house on their way home and calling to see if I want a chat, to those that are there every week playing poker. From those that are in England, and those that are not. None of them are any better or worse than the others, the relationships I have made are ones that have made me. Every person in my life has made me who I am and without them I wouldn't have the same clarity and happiness I have. Sure it is a new year, and of course I will nulify this paragraph by listing what I would like to do in the new year, but none of them are set in stone. Why force yourself to do something, it could make you miss out on opportunities that occur at random and these are some of the best ones in our life.

WhatI learnt last year has given me the clarity for the new year. I learnt how to love, and cope with being 5000 miles from her. It wasn't easy and to be honest its been really tough the last few months. The spark has gone, you see a gust of wind a thousand miles away is enough to blow out a flame, it's not as easy to reignite from distance. Whilst having some thinking time last night words came to mind, not written by anyone, not vert good, just my own, and I thought I'd put them on here.
"A gust of wind from a hundred miles can make a flame go out, if I set fire to place round here, will the emblems be picked up by this wind that took the spark away, and go back, reach you, touch you, help you remember, and relight the spark in your heart? I can do what I can, but not what I can't for the fire burns bright in my heart, it doesn't make sense how yours has gone out, but I can't beat myself up, all I hope is a spark comes back, whether its from me or someone else"

Damn that is shit haha. It sounded better when I hummed it in a shower to some kind of tune. Anyway, look I've learnt to be stronger, to be happy and grateful, to appreciate, and to act with conviction. It has been a very hard year, with a new job and moving back in to my parents, less money, but not less happiness, more appreciation for things that don't cost money.

So next year what do I want? Well I want to be in, or close to being in America.
I want to finally be disciplined with bankroll management for poker, and for life. I want to make people smile. I want to run a half marathon, I want my back to be straight again. I want my family and friends to be healthy and happy. I want to live for work rather than work to live (in other words enjoy my work).

Are there resolutions in there? Maybe yes, but there more general aims, how I get there I'm not going to define now, but I will doing everything I can to allow destiny to take me to my future by being open to opportunities.

Happy new year, I love you all.