So I haven't started with a title for this blog entry,just because I haven't quite decided what I am going to talk about,I just want to be honest to my writing style and have this post ridiculed with spelling mistakes, letters missing, wrong word choice, but honest and my mind.
Ok found one, and it is an epic quote credit to Ralph Waldo Emerson for that
As per usual I don't care who reads, this is for me because writing things down makes it all make sense. I do find it strange, recently my self belief, confidence, happiness and love for who I am has increased. At the same time stress at work, lack of control of the future, and confusion and nerves about it have increased. It doesn't make sense,essentially how happy am I, is it all a cover up? I don't think so, but I do feel that the picture in my head of where I want to be is starting to be more then a drunken pencil outline sketch.
You see the thing is I want to live in America. I guess to some thats obvious, I have awesome friends there, I fell in love there, I felt loved by so many people there, and I had the time of my life there. At the same time before I went I wanted to live there. Sure my experiences have increased my desire to get there.It is my future, I know that much. The ability to jump on a $40 return plane flight from SF to LA or Vegas with pretty much no notice to go and see friends is astonishing. It is crazy to think, I live in England and the rest of Europe is so close but we never take random weekend trips there. I guess the main reason is they speak a different language and it costs more, whereas in America they all speak close to the same..... just with different twangs and continual disregard towards the science and creation of English, but that is why I love them.
There is a lot going on in my personal/ love life too, stuff for me, however what I will say is how proud I am of her, this girl is a genius, kind, caring, and honest (add to that beautiful). This year hasen't been the easiest for her but she has graduated! Soon after graduating her dream internship is a reality... working with dolphins, in Israel centred around psychology. I am so happy for her as this is her dream and it needs to be seized. Of course it has an impact on her visit and travelling in Europe and that is up in the air at the moment, but so what! Damn a dream internship does not come along everyday, your lucky if it ever can happen in your life and if it comes along you have to be focused on you, especially for her, she aims to make everyone happy, well now its time for her to be happy and live that mother flipping dream, and its because she is so clever and good at juggling commitments that she has had this opportunity for her dream. If anything this proves that you HAVE to work for your dreams, they won't just drop in your lap you have to earn the right to have the opportunity. Its like the universe rewards you, it knows what you want, and acknowledges what you have done so it gives you the opportunity, its up to you to seize the day.
SO yes, I am going to move to America, next year ideally, 2013 at the latest, and I will miss soooo many people here, but I know they all know it is my dream,and whilst they will be disappointed (hey its natural) they will understand I have to do this. I don;t quite know exactly how I'm going to get there, but things are taking shape and its so exciting. I guess going back to the start of the post it does make sense now. I do kind of know the future, and I can control it to some extent, and I'm bloody working hard to let the universe acknowledge it, and Im happy because of all of that. Sure I have been extra emotional, who wouldn't be, it is almost exactly one year since I left America, and that hurts... I left. Would life have been different if I stayed somehow? Who knows, who cares, forget about the past, the past wont get me anywhere now, its the present that defines my future, so I guess I really need to keep focused, work hard, make sure I relax more so im not as tense and emotional, and be the best I can.
Sugar Im at the end now and none of what I wrote makes too much sense or has provided me with a blog title. I guess what I want to put in here now is a paragraph from Russel Bishop - check him out he rocks!
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Energy Follows Thought
Have you ever noticed that if you persist in a thought, some kind of energy will begin to show up? In can be as simple as thinking about eating a favorite food and having saliva show up in your mouth. For those who need something even more basic, have you ever gotten yourself excited simply by holding a thought in your head? There are countless examples that could be developed here, but I think the basic idea should be pretty obvious: hold a thought in your head long enough and you will begin to experience some kind of energy related to the thought.
However, day dreaming about food or sex or a new job or becoming the next zillionaire will probably not be sufficient to create any change in your circumstance. Sooner or later, you are going to have to act on your thoughts, and you will probably need some kind of energy to get you going.
Thought, in this case, a form of thought I am calling a positive focus, is a necessary but not sufficient precursor to creating something in life. That's because, the universe rewards action, not thought.
The Universe Rewards Action, Not Thought
If all it took were a few well imagined circumstances and persistent positive thought, there would be all manner of zillionaires out there. However, it is probably evident to most that you are unlikely to produce much of substance simply by thinking about something.
Sooner or later, you are going to have get up off your duff, get yourself actively engaged in the area of your focus, and start to do the work necessary. Surely it is obvious that results typically come after some kind of effort or energy is expended in a particular direction.
Notice that I did not say that just because you hold a positive thought, something positive will occur. Neither did I say that just because you got all energized about it, something positive would occur. In fact, you can hold a real nice, positive thought about a great outcome, get yourself revved up about it, do a whole bunch of things that you think should work and still come up short.
That's because the universe rewards action, not thought. And, sometimes the "rewards" may take the form of "negative" results or "negative" feedback.
The tricky part here is that when you hold a thought about a positive outcome and take affirmative action in that direction, the universe will reward your involvement, it will provide feedback. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to get what you were hoping for.
Sometimes, feedback shows up to let you know you are off course. Is that negative feedback? Well, yes, in a way. However, it could be the kind of negative feedback that tells you the bridge is out and you need to take an alternative route. Sometimes, negative feedback has a really positive impact.
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